5 Things Good Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids

dinsdag 1 oktober 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Jenny Erikson 10 hours ago

As parents, we try to do right by our kids. We want them to grow up to be smart and successful but, you know, in a balanced way. We want them to be confident but not cocky. We want them to be healthy but not vain over their physical abilities or appearances. Moral but not haughty, intelligent but not a smart aleck, yada yada, you get the picture.

So we parents try our best to raise our kids, but there are some things even the best parents do that turn out to be ultimately bad for our kids. Think you’re doing everything right? Think again. Here are five things that good parents do that end up messing up their kids.

Telling Them They’re Smart. Did you know that 85 percent of American parents believe it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart? I fully admit to being in that majority. But as it turns out, labeling your child as smart may cause them to underperform. Instead, tell them that they worked hard. Psychologist Carol Dweck says, “Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control ... they come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”Keeping Them Happy. Of course we want our kids to be happy in general, but that doesn’t mean they won’t go through bouts of disappointment or get an occasional case of the sads. It’s more important to let them know that feelings are just feelings -- it’s how we respond to them that matters.Rescuing Them. How else are kids supposed to learn that there are natural consequences for their actions (or lack thereof) if we parents are always coming in and rescuing them? So if they fail a class, don’t try to cajole the teacher into letting them do some easy extra credit; let them retake it. Nothing like a little summer school to motivate kids to apply themselves during the school year.Making Excuses. Similarly, we’d do our kids a great favor by not making excuses for them. If they didn’t write a thank-you note to your aunt for their birthday gift, it isn’t because they were too busy, it’s because they didn’t do it. Now if they did do it, and you forgot to put it in the mail, then that’s your mistake to own. Not that that has ever happened around here ...Putting Them First. Your little sweeties may be your precious darlings, but really, they’re just kids that will someday be grown up people. Let’s please stop with this entitlement attitude? No, your needs do not trump everyone else’s by virtue of your existence. Take a number.

Are you “guilty” of any of these parenting sins?

Image via Pewari/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jenny Erikson

is a conservative chick living in Southern California with her two daughters. She loves politics and hates laundry.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Pasta Company Says Their Noodles Are Only for Straight People

donderdag 26 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 1 hour ago

I don't know about you, but I've always considered pasta to be gender-neutral. Pasta doesn't really care if you're male or female, gay or straight. Pasta just wants to give you some carbs and make you feel warm, fed, and slightly bloated for a while. Pasta is not picky. But one pasta company sure is. Italian pasta company Barilla likes to feature "traditional" families in its ads: One dad, one mom, and their kids. Coincidence? Nope. Barilla's chairman, Guido Barilla, recently spoke out about the choice and said it was deliberate. The gays can go eat some other brand of pasta.

Yes, he really did say that. Here is the quote, translated into English: "We won’t include gays in our ads, because we like the traditional family. If gays don’t like it, they can always eat another brand of pasta. Everyone is free to do what they want, provided it doesn’t bother anyone else." Oh! Well. At least he believes in the right to choose someone else's pasta. I'm sure telling everyone you don't want gays to be seen eating your pasta doesn't bother anyone else at all.

Just to clarify, gays can eat Barilla. It's just that it's going to give them a sour stomach.

So that's kind of a shitty thing to say. I think we all know our idea of what a family looks like is changing. That's very rarely reflected in any advertising, and I don't expect a pasta company to be on the avant garde; but to make a point of avoiding gay families is kind of icky. Even if you're the kind of homophobic jerk who won't feature gay families in your ads, do you have to announce that to the world? Couldn't you keep that to yourself, you know, in the home, not out in public where it'll disgust people?

This is such a bummer, because I used to eat Barilla. But now, out of solidarity with my gay friends, I feel I must choose another pasta brand. Fortunately almost all the pasta at that price point tastes nearly identical, but still. I liked the blue box. Oh wait! Here's Guido Barilla with an apology!

With reference to statements made yesterday, I apologize if my words have generated controversy or misunderstanding, or if they have hurt the sensibilities of some people. In the interview I simply wanted to highlight the central role of the woman in the family.

Oh my God, I feel even worse now. 

Does it bother you when food company owners talk about their politics or beliefs?

Image via moonlightbulb/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Teens Who Stabbed Mother With Sword and Planned to Eat Her Liver May Not Be to Blame for Their Actions

zaterdag 21 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Lisa Fogarty 19 hours ago

There are no words to describe how gruesome and disturbing this story is -- whether you're the mom of a teen or just a human being who possesses a healthy amount of anxiety about today's youth. Two young teenage boys -- we're talking 13 and 14 years of age -- were arrested this week after allegedly attacking one of their mothers with a sword, stabbing her, and then holding what must have seemed like a rational discussion to them at the time about eating her liver. The boys, whose names haven't been released because of their ages, left mom sprawled out on her bed bleeding to death beside two knives and a sword with a bent handle.

And the story doesn't end there.  

They fled the scene in an SUV that belonged to the other teen's dad and proceeded to take a wild ride through the streets of Spokane, Washington. They crashed the car into the side of a trailer home, broke into a different home to hide, and -- because all this isn't enough crazy for one day -- somehow found hammers that they chucked at the windows, doors, and walls of the house, raking up $2,000 in damages. 

A police dog was able to track down the boys. They are currently in juvenile detention facing second degree assault charges, as well as charges for taking a motor vehicle without possession, hit-and-run, burglary, and malicious mischief. The teen's mom, thankfully, is in the hospital in stable condition. 

Before you say, yep, lock them up and throw away the key -- two fewer delinquents on the street is good news for my family (thoughts that, trust me, ran through my mind) -- it isn't such a black and white situation. The boys were under the influence of something one teen called "blue pills." The son claims he would have never hurt his mother or committed these other actions while sober and I believe him. It's unclear what blue pills are that he's talking about. Bath salts? Some other type of amphetamine, maybe? And just as a side note: what the hell is going on that he doesn't even know what he's ingesting? But the absolutely off-the-wall and psychotic deeds these two boys committed sound like the actions performed by someone who is delusional -- maybe even hallucinating. 

I'm not excusing the boys' behavior and I do believe they should have known better, but I feel that at such a young age, they would benefit more from counseling and drug rehabilitation than from a long stint in juvie. Get these children serious psychiatric help and make them pay back every cent in damages that they owe, but don't use prison as a final solution.

What do you want to see happen to these young teens who performed ghastly crimes while under the influence of drugs? 

Image via Albion Europe ApS/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Lisa Fogarty

is a former old-timey print journalist who lives in Brooklyn with her husband and toddler girl. She still carries a notebook everywhere and is always on the lookout for tasty vegan food and blouses with collars that will finally put the Peter Pan out on its (adorable) tush.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Divorced Couple Forced to Split Their House in Half and Live Under the Same Roof

dinsdag 17 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 2 hours ago

Can you imagine living in the same house as your ex-spouse after your divorce was final? Well, that's exactly what's happening to one couple in Spain. A judge has decided that their home should be split into two separate spaces -- because he believes it's what's best for the well being of the couple's children, and it will benefit them financially.

Their pad is a 2,700-square-foot apartment, and supposedly it's going to be split in half so the wife can live upstairs while the husband resides downstairs.

And while it's not exactly the worst arrangement in the world given the fact that they will at least have their own spaces -- it definitely does lend itself to more conflict if they have trouble treating each other civilly.

And what if the two units in the home don't have separate entrances? Yeah, that could get a little bit awkward, especially when one of them moves on and brings home a date for a night cap, if you catch my drift.

Huh. I may be going out on a bit of a limb here -- but maybe if these two had been ordered to live in different areas of the house a while ago, they wouldn't be going through a divorce right now. Come on ... think about it for a second. What if you had part of your house that was strictly designated as yours where your husband was not permitted to enter? You know, like your own private bathroom that smells like lavender and doesn't have towels thrown on the floor.

Or what if you had your very own bedroom complete with a big, fluffy bed where the sheets are perfectly tucked in and you don't have to fight anyone for the covers at night? (I could get behind that. Just throwing it out there.)

And I'm sure most husbands wouldn't complain about having a man cave to retreat to when they need a little time on their own. Maybe if the dude in Spain had one, it would've been just enough to do the trick and get their relationship back on track again.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm thinking a lot of fights could be avoided if couples had a little bit more breathing room.

Wishful thinking, I'm sure -- but wouldn't it be funny if living apart is exactly what these two need to find their way back together? Stranger things have happened.

Could you share your home with your ex?

Image via Reading Tom/Flickr

Click "Like" if you're a single mom — and proud! ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include Pinot Grigio on ice and Harry Styles -- in that order.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Couple Divorces and Splits Up Their Twin Babies in Real Life 'Parent Trap'

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 16 hours ago

When I first heard that dads David Tutera and Ryan Jurica are raising their twin babies separately after their divorce, I couldn't help but get a bit of a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Celebrity event planner David and his ex Ryan welcomed the twins via a surrogate -- but they decided to end their relationship very soon after the embryo transfer was complete. David admits that they never even talked about keeping the babies together. Instead, David has custody of his biological daughter, Cielo, and is raising her in California, while Ryan is bringing up her brother who is his biological child, Cedric, all the way across the country in Connecticut.

And even though David says he and his ex want to make sure their babies have a relationship -- it's hard to understand why on earth they would choose to separate a brother and sister who deserve to grow up together, especially considering they shared a womb for nine months. How could they bring themselves to pull them apart like that?

I know they live on opposite coasts and all, but couldn't they have worked out some sort of custody arrangement where they each had the babies for six months out of the year or something like that? Sure, it would be tough for them to go back and forth between parents -- but isn't it worse that they will never really know each other, or at least they won't have the opportunity of experiencing a real sibling relationship?

This is basically like a real life version of The Parent Trap, and if you ask me, these men are being incredibly selfish and immature. When you become a parent, you have to realize that your priorities change overnight -- and it's not all about you anymore. The happiness and well being of your children HAVE to come first, even if the resulting situation is less than ideal for you.

This arrangement would be horrible enough if these children were a regular brother and sister, but the fact that they're twins makes it even harder to accept. Twins share such a deep, special bond. David and Ryan are nuts if they think the babies won't sense that there is something missing in their lives as they get older. And their little plan could really wind up hurting them more than their divorce ever did, because there is a very good chance the twins will resent them when they grow up. I mean, their own fathers deliberately tore them apart and took away their opportunity to share their lives, which could be a pretty hard thing to forgive down the line.

Hopefully once the dust settles a bit more on their split, they'll come to their senses and work out a way to ensure that these children truly get to know each other as brother and sister -- because that's the only way it should be. And if they don't? Then they should probably prepare themselves for the therapy bills they're going to have to pay for when their kids start having issues later in life.

Are you outraged over what these dads have done?

Image via Cyron/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include Pinot Grigio on ice and Harry Styles -- in that order.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Parents Who Want to Attend Their Kid's Sport Practice Need to Get a Life

vrijdag 13 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Jenny Erikson 3 hours ago

Casey Jones just wanted to watch his 13-year-old granddaughter play volleyball. He was so proud of her making the team and wanted to see her in action. But when he went to watch her practice at Centennial Middle School in Florida, he was informed that family members were not allowed to attend practices.

Jones was able to contact Pasco County School District’s assistant superintendent Ray Gadd, who decided to investigate the policy. “As an organization, we want to be parent-friendly and family-friendly,” he said, but also noted that the school might have its reasons.

What they found out is that there is no district-wide policy for parents. It varies by school and even by sport. Basically, it’s up to the coaches to decide what’s best for their team. Now they’re trying to decide whether or not they should adopt a standardized rule for the entire district.

I think that’s a terrible idea. Coaches need to connect with their players, and just like every person is unique, so is every team. What works for one team might not work for another. For instance, what if you get a group of students with more helicopter parents than usual? Is it really a good idea to have those moms and dads questioning every move the coaches make, or sideline coaching themselves? In that case, banning parents from practice might be a good idea.

It might not even be about the students at all -- what if a coach in a highly competitive sport doesn’t want his or her strategies overseen by opponents?

A universal policy would rob coaches from making the best decisions for their teams, and that’s not exactly in the best interests of the students. Does it suck that a coach might implement a rule you don’t like? Yes. But no one ever said life was fair.

Do you think coaches should be required to let parents into practice?

Image via Battle Creek CVB/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jenny Erikson

is a conservative chick living in Southern California with her two daughters. She loves politics and hates laundry.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Adult 'Children' Who Bring Their Parents to Job Interviews Need to Grow Up

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Lisa Fogarty 4 hours ago

Remember when you turned 18 and the delicious promise of a life unchained from the shackles of your parents was all you could think about? Or maybe your independent streak didn't strike until you graduated college and bought your first Ann Taylor business suit, which you wore once and only once on that job interview where you lied about your Excel skills? 

Now imagine your mom or dad had accompanied you to your interview. And then, a year later, sat in at your professional review as you sheepishly tried to negotiate your salary up from pennies to quarters. Sound like the stuff of adolescent nightmares? 

Not in this day and age of helicopter parenting. 

Some big employers are actually trying to appeal to their working Millennials' strong parental bonds by inviting moms and dads to interviews and salary negotiations and even sending cute notes home when their young workers achieve their sales goals.

Yep, sort of like report cards. 

Companies like Northwestern Mutual claim that involving parents has become a common best practice that boosts morale among workers in their early 20s up to their (get this) early 30s. 

To make matters even more sad, the sending home of progress reports to mommy and daddy actually works. According to Northwestern Mutual, more interns are meeting their sales goals than ever before because of these practices. 

Okay, so first of all: a 22-year-old is not a child and a 30-year-old is -- no room for debate here -- definitely not a child. The fact that so many Millennials have been coddled to the point where they can't venture out into the work world without looking back over their shoulder to see if mom is smiling is depressing. 

If I were to receive a letter from my daughter's employer asking me to sit in on her interview, I would respectfully decline. Then I would hope like hell my daughter doesn't absorb from this message that she is not fully her own woman and is being thought of as incapable of making her own decisions and holding her own as a professional.

Young adults are going to make mistakes. And they should perspire slightly before walking into an office -- alone -- to negotiate their salary. But at the end of the day, when they realize they've held their own before their boss and are solely responsible for improving their careers, the confidence and strength they'll gain is well worth the anxiety and few minutes of discomfort they'll experience.

Would you accompany your child to his or her job interview? 

Image via Ryo FUKAsawa/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Lisa Fogarty

is a former old-timey print journalist who lives in Brooklyn with her husband and toddler girl. She still carries a notebook everywhere and is always on the lookout for tasty vegan food and blouses with collars that will finally put the Peter Pan out on its (adorable) tush.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

John Stamos Gets Celebrities to Reveal How They Lost Their Virginity (VIDEO)

woensdag 11 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Kiri Blakeley 2 hours ago

Ahh, losing your virginity. Who doesn't remember it? Unless you were cock-eyed drunk (a sensitive topic these days!), chances are you have a virtually real-time recall on your first time having sex. And somehow John Stamos is getting celebs to open up about turning in their V card. He interviewed stars like Olivia Munn, South Park creator Matt Stone, blogger Perez Hilton, and more, for the new Yahoo! web series Losing It With John Stamos. I have a feeling that whoever lost it with John had a better time than the rest of us! Haha.

John actually had this idea years ago and a very short-lived MTV series based on it, but he couldn't get guests to agree to talk. "This was when celebrities took themselves way too seriously," he told Entertainment Weekly.

But now with celebrities actually clamoring to get on reality shows and web series, John had a somewhat easier time getting guests to spill the details of what is often their most painfully embarrassing encounter.

John told Olivia Munn he lost his virginity "later than most guys" -- at 17. That's later?! Wow, parents, I guess you're in big-time denial if you think your teen isn't already doing the dirty.

In fact, John came up with the idea when he unexpectedly ran into the girl he'd lost it with when the sister of a friend of his showed up at his house years later. He said:

The bass player of my band when I was in high school came over and brought her sister. I was like, "Hi, hi ... wait a minute, I know you."

Hmm. Awkward. John says the girl will be on a future show, which has yet to be filmed, but admits: "Apparently, she has a completely different story than I do."

To be honest, I know few people who had a decent first time -- let alone earth-shattering. I won't get into the details about mine, but I consider myself lucky in that respect. Let's face it, no one really knows what they're doing, expectations are ridiculously high, and there's usually way too much booze involved.

Olivia Munn, for instance, regales John with the time she was 18 and decided to have sex on her birthday with her long-time boyfriend. After they'd done the deed, Olivia asked that question every man dreads hearing: "Is that it?" LOL!

Check it out:

How did you lose your V card?

Image via LiveLeak/YouTube

?

reacties | | Read More...

Family Dog Helps Parents Expose Their Child's Abusive Babysitter

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Lisa Fogarty 2 hours ago

Shortly after relocating to Charleston last year, Benjamin and Hope Jordan searched high and low for a reliable babysitter for their then 7-month-old son Finn. Like many parents, they were probably filled with an anxiety that ceased slightly when the background check for their potential sitter, 22-year-old Alexis Khan, came out clean as a whistle. 

But Khan wasn't fooling their family dog.

"About five months into her being our babysitter, we started to notice that our dog was very defensive of our son when she would come in the door," said Benjamin Jordan. "He was very aggressive towards her and a few times we actually had to physically restrain our dog from going towards her." 

Suspicious, the Jordan's placed an iPhone under their couch to record the sitter with Finn while they were at work. What they heard later that day devastated them. 

Khan was caught on tape cussing at the baby. The curses soon turned to slapping noises and Finn's cries could be heard changing from distress to pain. 

Is your blood boiling yet? Can you even imagine how you would feel? 

"I just wanted to reach through the audio tape, go back in time, and just grab him up," Jordan said. "To know that five months I had handed my child to a monster, not knowing what was going on in my house for that day."

The good news -- the only good news to come from this sad story, other than the fact that the Jordans can take solace in the fact that they have one amazing pooch -- is that Khan was arrested, confessed to the abuse, and was sentenced this week to serve one to three years in prison. 

As part of her plea, Khan will be placed on a child abuse registry, which is the least that the courts could do after what this child and these poor parents went through. She actually qualifies for parole in one year -- which seems ludicrous to me.

I understand a punishment has to fit a crime and that I am especially sensitive to and passionate about this issue because I have a toddler, but is one year really enough time for this crazy woman to learn the lesson that she has no right to put her hands on someone else's child? She could have chosen any other part-time job -- why choose one that required her to be a loving caretaker? 

Do you think Khan's sentence is fair? 

Image via State Farm/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Lisa Fogarty

Lisa Fogarty is a former old-timey print journalist who lives in Brooklyn with her husband and toddler girl. She still carries a notebook everywhere and is always on the lookout for tasty vegan food and blouses with collars that will finally put the Peter Pan out on its (adorable) tush.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Firefighters Robbed of Precious Possessions While Out Risking Their Lives in a Fire (VIDEO)

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Maressa Brown 3 hours ago Maybe it's silly to think that thieves actually have a conscience, but you would think there are certain places and people just about anyone would want to avoid robbing. Guess not considering a fire station in the Bay area, California was burglarized earlier this week while fire crews were out battling a raging fire near Mount Diablo. Ughh! 

The thief made their way into the station and took iPads, watches, cash, and even two wedding rings while crews were spending 24 hours protecting at least 100 structures threatened by the fire, which had grown to 3,200 acres and was 70 percent contained as of Wednesday, said Contra Costa County Fire Protection District spokesman Steve Aubert. So crazy!

As you can imagine, the firefighters who returned to find their valuables missing were shocked and dismayed ... But they were also angry. And geeze, who could blame 'em?! I'm angry! There's no excuse for burglary in any case, but come on -- to target firefighters, who are serving their communities and trying to protect and save lives? That's just plain twisted.

As firefighter Judon Cherry, who has been married for 20 years and returned to the firehouse to find his wedding ring missing, said:

Are you serious? Somebody actually came into the fire station and stole from us after we helped people? It's devastating.

No kidding! I mean ... stealing money, sure, that's obvious. An iPad -- okay, understandable, and even so much more replaceable than a wedding ring, an item with likely far more sentimental than cash value!

Thankfully, police vow that they're investigating the incident and will track down whoever did this. In the meantime, though, Cherry notes that the fire station is going to have to step up their security like never before. It's disheartening and galling to say the least ... 

Here's the local news report:

What do you think about what happened here? Shocked, appalled, or unsurprised?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Maressa Brown

has enjoyed reporting and writing for a variety of entertainment and women's magazines and websites. More often than not, you'll find her blogging, hitting the gym, reading, researching something on her iPhone, laughing, chatting at an above-"normal" volume, or getting her caffeine fix.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Parents Found Guilty of Killing Adopted Daughter Despite Their 'Christian' Excuse

dinsdag 10 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Kiri Blakeley 2 hours ago

Religion is no excuse for killing your child. That's the message that abusive parents Larry and Carri Williams got when they were found guilty of first-degree manslaughter when they let their adopted child, Hana, die in their backyard from starvation and hypothermia after reportedly following tactics outlined in a Christian parenting book called To Train Up a Child. Hey, just because you label something Christian doesn't mean it is. What's that saying? Lipstick on a pig is still a pig. And beating and starving your child is not Christian.

Hana was adopted from Ethiopia and believed to be about 13 years old. Hana was forced to stay in the couple's backyard -- apparently as part of cruel parenting rules that the couple got from the book. She died of hypothermia aggravated by gastritis and malnutrition. Her body was rail thin, covered in bruises, her head was shaved and lumpy, and she had evidence of physical abuse.

The Williams' defense team called this "questionable parenting practices" and said they didn't necessarily equate to a crime.

WRONG.

Horrifyingly, the couple had seven other children in their home -- all have since been removed. One of their other adopted children, Immanuel, testified that the couple beat them with belts and switches. As punishment, they were hosed down, forced to sleep in closets, and made to listen to the Bible on tape and Christian music.

The level of hypocrisy here is obscene. Christianity, like all major religions, is founded on principles of love, caring, forgiveness, and treating others as you would like to be treated. Unfortunately, religion is often perverted and those basic tenets are bent and twisted into something grotesque and far from the original idea behind them.

Religion is never an excuse for abandoning your critical thinking, compassion, and basic humanity. And the justice system recognized this. You don't get to kill someone and then say, "These were just my ways of parenting." You don't get to torture someone and say, "That's my religion."

Mankind's basic religion is kindness and do unto others. Anything that deviates from that is just perversion of religion. Unfortunately, all of this comes too late for Hana. But her death allowed the other seven children living in this hellhole to escape.

Do you ever hear people perverting the ideas of religion?

Image via KIRO7

?

reacties | | Read More...

School Warns Parents It's Not Responsible for Their Kids During Field Trips

maandag 9 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Jeanne Sager 2 hours ago

When you sign a permission slip for your child to go on a field trip, you expect it to be pretty simple. Generally, you're giving your OK for your kid to ride a bus somewhere fun. Who wouldn't sign that? How about if the permission slip expected you to let the school off the hook if something bad happened to your kid?

Would you want to sign that slip? Parents in the St. Louis Park School District are weighing that one right now. After a tragic landslide killed two fourth graders during a school fossil hunting field trip last school year, the district is looking to protect itself.

So they sent home a permission slip to parents this year that states:

We understand the arrangements described above and believe the necessary precautions and plans for the care and supervision of students during the field trip will be taken. Beyond this we will not hold the school or those supervising the trip responsible.

So, basically the school is saying "your kids COULD die on our field trip, but don't sue us because we're really not responsible!" How ... comforting?

Every time your kid leaves your sight, you have to know something could go wrong. I don't mean to sound like a cynic here, but that's life.

The bus could crash. They could develop a sudden deadly allergy to bee stings. The ceiling could cave in.

I could continue to list the things that could go wrong, but really, why work ourselves up? We know it could happen, but part of being a mom is knowing that we have to suck it up and risk it if we want our kids to live full lives. We can't put kids in bubbles.

Still, with all that said, we should be able to send our kids to school activities with at least some sense that they'll be OK, that the school has their best interests at heart. A permission slip like this does the opposite. It tells the parents that the school cares about its bottom line first, the kids second.

I don't know that I could sign a permission slip like this.

I don't care about suing a school, frankly. I know it happens, and that not all parents are greedy. Sometimes it's just about paying medical bills that become a burden. Still, if something horrible happened to my child, that would be the last thing on my mind. But I do want to know that a school cares about my kid.

Would you sign this permission slip? What's the scariest thing you've seen written on a permission slip?

Image by Jeanne Sager

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jeanne Sager

writes articles for The Stir by day, slays closet monsters and bounds through bedtime stories with her elementary schooler by night. The Phineas and Ferb soundtrack reverberates through her brain.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Teens Charged With Murdering Their Best Friend in the Woods (VIDEO)

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 2 hours ago

Two teens have been accused of killing their best friend -- but they may serve adult-scale sentences. Last summer, 16-year-old Skylar Neese went missing. After searching for months, police got a breakthrough; 16-year-old Rachel Shoaf, supposedly Skylar's best friend, confessed to the teen's murder and led police to her body in a wooded area about 30 miles away from their home. Now another teen has been identified as an accomplice in Skylar Neese's murder. Seventeen-year-old Sheila Eddy has been charged in Skylar's death and prosecutors say they want to try her as an adult.

Skylar's father, Dave Neese, had some grim words for this latest news. He said Sheila "can now get what she has coming ... Well, she done an adult crime, she needs to be tried as an adult. She didn't do something that a minor does. She did something an adult would do." But is that really a reason to try Sheila as an adult?

Prosecutors say Rachel and Sheila lured Skylar out of her house and into the woods, where they stabbed the girl to death. Rachel pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and awaits sentencing, which could be severe. Prosecutors say they will recommend a 20-year prison sentence and will oppose attempts to sentence the teen as a juvenile. Sheila hasn't entered a plea yet, but her behavior after the murder is shocking. Right after Skylar went missing, Sheila tweeted, "Rest easy Skylar. You'll always be my best friend. I miss you more than you could ever know." She also helped search for Skylar.

I know the crime is horrific, and I can understand why Skylar's family would want to see justice served. Police haven't revealed the motive for Skylar's murder, so we still don't know what led Rachel and (allegedly) Sheila to murder their best friend. But I still feel like there are some good reasons why teens are tried as juveniles rather than adults.

Yes, teens do occasionally commit adult-like crimes, as Skylar's father puts it. But they commit those crimes with underdeveloped judgment. The teenage mind is significantly different from an adult mind. That should matter.

On the other hand, at least Rachel's sentence is relatively light, for a murder. I'm sure her young age was taken into account. She'll still be in her 30s by the time she is released. If convicted, Rachel might get a similar sentence. If she really did participate in the murder, I hope she'll enter a plea so at least her victim's family doesn't have to go through the agony of an open trial.

Do you think teens should be tried as adults when they commit serious crimes like murder?

Image via ABC News

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Police Overreact to Parents Posting Photo of Their 4-Year-Old With Beer Bottle

dinsdag 27 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Sasha Brown-Worsham 1 hour ago

Parents are being investigated after they posted a photo of their 4-year-old daughter "drinking" out of a beer bottle. The caption underneath the Instagram photo was "German beer is goooudd! Haha already likes expensive bottles!" Instead of laughs, they got reported.

As a parent myself, I get the basic concept. Beer is bad for kids. Any alcohol is bad for children. Obviously. But isn't this sort of an iconic photo we all have from our childhood? Remember how HILARIOUS it is to pretend like our kid is drinking? I know I have that photo in my family album and my parents were practically teetotalers.

I also know I have seen it in many other kids' albums. It's not a big deal. As I recall, the smell of beer even made me sick until I was well over the legal age. So why are these parents getting so much flak?

We might need to take a few steps back in cases like these. Is it funny? Not to everyone. I actually don't have this photo of my own children. But honestly, that's less because I am offended and more just because I think it's overplayed. I know I have seen it on Facebook and no one bats an eye. We KNOW our friends are good parents and wouldn't give their toddler beer. But I guess people don't know the same about these parents who posted the photo on the Instagram account of Davinci Tattoo and Piercing.

The parents, for their part, have said it was water in the bottle and I tend to believe them. Even if I WANTED to get my 5- or 6-year-old to try beer or wine, I know they wouldn't. They have sniffed at our glasses and looked at us like we were insane.

"How can you drink that?" my daughter asked. It's an acquired taste. So the likelihood of a 4-year-old loving beer to the point where she would turn the bottle upside down in her mouth seems pretty low.

It's a lot more likely that this was a joke and people took it too seriously. I think we all need to take a few steps back and reevaluate ourselves when we feel the need to freak out over things we might not even understand.

Do you have that photo in your baby album?

Image via BitchBuzz/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sasha Brown-Worsham

can't decide whether she is a mother, writer, or runner, but is usually all three at some point each day. She has written for dozens of print magazines, newspapers, and websites. She rarely ever writes on bathroom walls.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

9 Reasons Moms Are Totally Jealous of Their Teens

maandag 26 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

Complaining about your teenager is a rite of passage for parents. They can be absolutely maddening what with the door slamming and the eye rolling and that infernal racket pouring out of their earbuds. But sometimes I wonder if the ladies (and gentleman) doth protest too much.

Are teenagers really that bad? Or could it be that moms are a wee bit jealous of their teenagers?

My kid isn't there yet -- she's 8 -- but I have a teenage babysitter who spends enough time at my house that she's practically a second daughter. I'll admit it ... there are times I am pea green with envy.

Don't think this is you? Perhaps this will change your mind ...

Behold the things teens do that moms only WISH we could:

1. Browsing at the mall. It's easy to get annoyed by that gaggle of giggling girls that takes up the entire line of changing room stalls in the Gap ... the girls you know probably aren't going to actually buy anything. But ohhhhh, to have the time to spend trying on 10 different outfits ... and the luxury to go in a changing room without a toddler hanging off of you!

2. Wearing a bikini. It's not that moms can't wear bikinis. Some women can really rock a two piece after kids. It's that teenagers can wear them without anyone commenting on whether they're too old for said piece of swimwear.

3. Blasting music in the car. Go ahead, roll your eyes at the kids bumping one lane over at the red light. But if you're really honest with yourself, you still remember the amazing feeling of driving down the road with the windows open, the music blaring, while you and your friends sang along at the top of your lungs. 

4. Sleeping until noon. It's easy to call a kid lazy for snoozing away the day, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't long for the lie in most mornings.

5. Doing cartwheels (or anything similar). Some moms still have the agility of a cat. The rest of us buy ibuproferen in bulk.

6. Believing money would magically appear. Most kids seem to believe money grows on trees. What I wouldn't give to return a time when life was that simple ...

7. Riding rollercoasters, taking flights, etc. without fear. Teens take risks that scare the crap out of their parents, but it sure would be nice to revisit those fearless days ... when you were completely invincible. Sigh.

8. Eating junk for dinner without a care in the world. Imagine no little voice in the back of your head telling you that it's wrong to make a meal of Diet Pepsi and Skittles.

9. Expecting maid service. Yes, it is frustrating feeling like your kids still expect you to do everything for them. But wouldn't it be nice to have someone do everything for YOU?

What teenager things do you kinda sorta wish you could still do?

Image via Roberto Trm/Flickr

reacties | | Read More...

Teen Kills His 3 Nephews for $300 ... Promised by Their Father!

vrijdag 23 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

A 19-year-old Wisconsin boy did the absolutely unthinkable. He killed his three young nephews and tried to kill his young niece and his pregnant sister-in-law -- all by burning down their house. He did this even though their mother, Sharon Wand, treated him like a son. The three young boys died. His 2-year-old niece, Jessica, survived, but no thanks to teen killer Jeremy Wand, who tried to throw her back into the flames when it looked like she might escape. And he did it all for $300. He's been sentenced to life in prison. But the judge ruled that he's eligible for parole. Why? Because the judge believes he was being coerced and influenced. By his brother and mother!!!

Reportedly, Jeremy Wand's eldest brother, Armin, wanted his wife, four kids, and unborn child all dead. All gone. Why?

So he could "start afresh." With their cashed in insurance policies.

Yep, he didn't want to take the divorce route -- even though the couple's divorce was almost finalized. He wanted to exterminate the entire family he had willingly built himself -- just because he wanted a new life. We've heard this heinous story before and no doubt we will hear it again. The dark side of human nature is very dark indeed.

Armin (who was found guilty and is serving life in prison) apparently talked his brother into helping him burn down the house and kill his family. He would pay him $300.

The capper? Allegedly Armin and Jeremy's mom thought the whole thing was a fine idea. She thought her son Armin deserved a fresh start too. Even if that meant murdering all of her grandchildren and her daughter-in-law.

This sounds like a family that had no morals. A family of sociopaths. And Jeremy, whether he was one or not, grew up in it. Had his mind formed by his mother and older brother from the time he was a child.

Who knows if he could have ever found the willpower to think independently?

At what age is a child supposed to form their own moral character? And can they do that when everyone else in the family has none?

Apparently the judge thinks that Jeremy might deserve a second chance. Hell, this is one person who might do better in prison than being around his own family.

It's easy to say, "He was 19. Old enough to know what he was doing." And it takes a special kind of cruelty and inhumanity to throw a screaming toddler back into a fire. He killed three young boys who "adored" him, according to Sharon. He tried to kill his sister-in-law and niece. Sharon Wand ended up having a miscarriage, so he killed another child too.

It takes a subhuman to do all of this.

But this is all he ever knew. This kind of mind. The subhuman, sociopathic mind.

I am not convinced he deserves a second chance. He's most likely a lost cause. However, even Sharon Wand, who has gone through the worst thing any human being can, thinks her nephew Jeremy deserves a chance at parole. When the judge asked her, she replied, "He’s a really good guy. I love him dearly." And admitted he was under the influence of his "abusive" older brother.

It all makes you think about the family's you're born into -- and whether you can ever escape them.

Do you think this teen ever deserves another chance at living in society?

Image via Madison Police Dept.

reacties | | Read More...

6 Celebrities Who Still Live With Their Parents (PHOTOS)

dinsdag 20 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 2 hours ago

You'd think with how much money they make, most celebrities would jump at the chance to own a spacious home of their own where they can spread out and have a little privacy.

And that's why it's so surprising to hear that many famous folks still live with their parents even though they're grown adults who should've left the nest quite some time ago. (Cut the cord, already!)

Heck, I was out the door at 18 and only came back for one brief summer -- how about you?

Apparently some celebs just can't get enough of mom and pop -- either that or they must be afraid of the dark or don't know how to do their own laundry.

Check out the photos below to see six celebrities who still live with their parents.

Image via Splash

var UGC_HOST = "http://ugc-01.cafemomstatic.com";var current_slide_num = 0;var slideshow_url = "http://thestir.cafemom.com/home_garden/159997/6_celebrities_who_still_live";var short_url = "/home_garden/159997/6_celebrities_who_still_live";var slide_id = "";var from_social = "";var current_slide_id = '109450';

Yep. Jen shacks up in her parents' condo as opposed to living in her own pad.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include cosmopolitans, reality TV, and shoes that don't pinch her feet.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Teresa Giudice's Kids Are Lucky to Have Melissa Gorga as Their Aunt (PHOTO)

donderdag 15 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Nicole Fabian-Weber 3 hours ago

We all probably took it with a grain of salt when Melissa Gorga said she had Teresa Giudice's back while Tre is in the throes of being charged with 39 counts of fraud. It seemed kind of like a generic statement, a statement maybe even made to make Melissa herself look good. But as it turns out, she's not lying. Melissa tweeted a photo of all the cousins together -- as in her kids and Teresa's -- on Wednesday at her daughter Antonia's birthday party. Good move, Melissa. Ditching your mom-to-four sis-in-law would be no bueno at a time like this. And the kids need each other more than ever right now.

I can't imagine there's zero animosity whatsoever between Melissa and Teresa right now, as when is there ever zero animosity between these two women? But fighting with each other, and making things even more stressful for Teresa and her four daughters, would be a terrible thing to do right now. What Teresa and Joe did was wrong, but her children shouldn't have to pay for their parents' mistakes. And even though she acts like it's all "love, love, love" on the outside, I'm sure there's a big part of Teresa that's scared she's going to be taken away from her kids. We certainly don't need to support her right now, but her family ought to. Wouldn't you be there for yours?

And then there's the issue of if Teresa and Joe do both wind up going to jail -- who's going to watch their children? I'm sure they've got a legal guardian figured out (and I'm sure it's Teresa's parents), but it would be horrible if in the midst of something so traumatizing for the Giudice girls, they didn't have their aunt and uncle to turn to either.

All in all, this is a really crap situation for Teresa and Joe's kids to be in. One that's probably made a little bit easier by spending time with their cousins. Nice to see that, for once, Teresa and Melissa have done the mature thing and put their kids first. But let's see how long this lasts.

Do you think Teresa and Melissa will go back to fighting?

Image via Melissa Gorga/Instagram

Click the "Like" button below if you're a fan of Real Housewives.
?

reacties | | Read More...

Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes Put His Kids Above Their Fame

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Ericka Sóuter 1 hour ago

Word is, Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes plan to hire young actors to play his children in their upcoming reality show. That would, of course, require a very loose definition of the term "reality show." Those reports, however, turned out to be false. In fact, they don't plan to feature the children at all. Which can only lead us to one conclusion: Eddie may be a more principled parent than his ex Brandi Glanville.

First, I should say I like Brandi. As far as I'm concerned, Eddie is clearly the bad guy in their messy, headline-grabbing breakup. He cheated, after all. However, this latest move by Eddie redeems him a bit. Apparently, he and LeAnn are against the boys being on TV at all and have issues with them appearing on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Parenting points go to LeAnn and Eddie on this one. Protecting their kids from the prying, ever-present reality TV cameras shows that they are putting the boys first. They are too young to choose to be in front of the camera -- that is clearly something Brandi has allowed. One day, they may be horrified by what was captured on camera.

I remember one of the first times they appeared on Real Housewives, Brandi was letting one of them pee outside at a party. Now, while I wouldn't have let my child do that at someone's swank mansion, the act itself isn't a big deal. What is a problem is that Brandi allowed her son on camera possibly knowing that her ex didn't want him to be. They are both parents and both should be on board for this. I know seeing them is necessary for her reality show “character” of the jilted mom of two. But is it the best thing for her kids? Probably not. Overall, Brandi is a wonderful, loving mom. And Eddie and LeAnn may be lousy cheaters, but at least they are putting their kids above fame.

What do you think of Eddie's decision not to film his kids?

Image via Splash

Click the "Like" button below if you're a fan of Real Housewives. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ericka Sóuter

is a veteran pop culture and celeb news writer. That experience boils down to two things: she knows way too much about the Kardashians and she dominates on Trivial Pursuit's arts and entertainment questions.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...

Parents Outraged Over Ke$ha Concert Never Should've Brought Their Kids in the First Place

woensdag 14 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 5 hours ago

A group of parents who took their kids to a Ke$ha concert last Friday are all bent out of shape -- no, make that horrified and appalled at the lewd behavior the singer engaged in on stage throughout the show.

Complaints from parents range from being disgusted that she "made reference to her genitalia and sex acts" to being shocked that she gave the crowd the middle finger and "dropped f-bombs" during her performance.

And all I can say is, how in the heck did these parents not realize that they were attending a Ke$ha concert -- not a One Direction, Taylor Swift, or some other squeaky-clean perfectly kid-appropriate act? Don't they have the slightest idea who Ke$ha is?!?

The woman claims to have had sex with a ghost, for crying out loud -- so it's not like anyone should expect any of her concerts to be on the tame side. Did I mention she also has a line of jewelry shaped like penises? (Um, hello?)

I know these parents were probably only trying to do something fun and special for their kids, but I'm sorry -- they're just plain irresponsible if you ask me. Many of them are upset because the concert was open to all ages, and they feel like that served as some sort of indication that Ke$ha's performance would be like some kind of Disney show. But duh, of course it was open to all ages -- because musicians tend to like to sell as many tickets as possible. Also, the concert was held at a casino and they wanted to make it clear that people under the legal gambling age could attend.

But regardless of that, it's not the job of the concert venue to decide what is and is not acceptable for children to see -- that's the parents' job.

And any mom or dad who is planning on bringing their child to a concert needs to a.) listen to the music first and know who they are dealing with, and b.) do a little research on the performer if they don't have time to sit down and listen to their music.

Sounds easy enough, right?

I know exactly what kind of music my son is a fan of, and while it's all pretty innocent at this point, I know his tastes will change as he gets older. And there's no way I'm letting him go to a concert without knowing exactly what types of songs and/or behavior he's likely to see at the show.

These parents have no business complaining about something that was completely in their control had they only made it a point to pay a little more attention. If nothing else, hopefully this will make them more aware of just how important it is to monitor the type of music their kids are listening to and choose concerts accordingly from here on out.

Would you ever taken your child to a Ke$ha concert?

Image via Splash

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include cosmopolitans, reality TV, and shoes that don't pinch her feet.

More
?

reacties | | Read More...