Judge Who Told Accused Sex Offender to Write to His 13-Year-Old Victim Wasn't Totally Wrong

dinsdag 24 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Ericka Sóuter 2 hours ago

Judge Shari Michels caused quite a controversy recently by telling a cop accused of sexting and groping a 13-year-old girl that he could write a letter to his victim. Sounds crazy, right. Understandably, people freaked out. How could this officer of the court encourage and allow such a thing? But as horrific as it sounds, Judge Michels is not totally off her rocker.

At the hearing for former New York City police officer Modesto Alamo after his arrest for forcible touching and endangering the welfare of a minor, Judge Michels seemed to take pity on the man. Though she ordered him to stay away from the young girl, she also said, "If you feel that there is a need for communication, write it down, put it in the envelope, and put a date on it, and in the future, if you want to give them that information, you can do that then."

Not surprisingly, her words have enraged the girl's family and I am sure countless others. But while this judge may not be best equipped to provide counseling or therapy to this alleged criminal, her actions do highlight an important issue that is often ignored. Sexual predators have an illness and they need to be helped in addition to being punished. Why help him, you may ask? Because one day he will be back on the street.

If they do not learn how to deal with their illegal sexual proclivities, they are doomed to repeat them. I have no idea what the best approach is to helping someone with this problem. Michels also ordered him to have a psychological evaluation and get treatment after he reportedly talked of suicide. I imagine different sex offenders may need different things to eradicate or suppress those despicable urges. But I am 100 percent sure that they need some kind of intervention beyond just being locked up.

With all the furor her advice has caused, Judge Michels has since issued an apology through a spokesman. She regrets what her decision may have made the victim feel and did not intend to offend anyone. I buy that. The important thing to remember is that she was trying to make sure Alamo found a way to deal with his demons and not become a repeat offender. Can we really blame her for that?

What do you think of Judge Michel's advice to this defendant? Do you think sexual predators should get counseling?

Image via Hey Paul Stuidos/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ericka Sóuter

is a veteran pop culture and celeb news writer. That experience boils down to two things: she knows way too much about the Kardashians and she dominates on Trivial Pursuit's arts and entertainment questions.

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'Dexter' Finale Wasn't Worthy of TV's Most Beloved Slasher (SPOILER ALERT)

maandag 23 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Ericka Sóuter 1 hour ago

Showtime's Dexter will go down in history as the only show that actually made us root for a serial killer. It didn't matter how many people Michael C. Hall dismembered or why, we looked at him as one of the good guys. So we diehard fans expected a series finale that reflected our admiration for primetime's most beloved slasher. Yes, the ending was unexpected and there were surprises along the way. But it wasn't an ending worthy of Dexter Morgan. Here's why.

(STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.)

It's hard to imagine liking someone who enjoys killing people. But we bought into Dexter's "code" from day one. He satiates his blood lust by killing the killers. Of course there were a couple of innocent casualties along the way (like Lieutenant Doakes and Captain Laguerta). But in general, you felt like the world was a safer place with Dexter Morgan around.

There had been much speculation and debate as to how the show would finally end. Would his sister Debra crack and turn him in? Would he be taken down by another serial killer? Would one of his cop friends put two and two together and finally nab him? Or maybe he would ride off into the sunset with his son and homicidal girlfriend Hannah (my favorite option)? The answer turned out to be none of the above.

Yes, Dexter got away with murder (too many to count), but he did not get the happy ending many of us had certainly hoped for. In the end, he felt responsible for the misery of so many people he loved. After his sister is shot by Dexter's latest serial killing nemesis and ends up in a vegetative state, he is wracked with guilt. To him, it seemed that everyone he cared for met some tragic end. As a result, he abandons his plans to meet his girlfriend and son, who had already fled the country. Instead, he rides his boat into a hurricane.

At first you think he must have drowned, as friends got word that the wreckage was found. But turns out our crafty killer has actually made a life for himself as a lumberjack in the middle of nowhere. Dexter as we know it exists no more. There are no friends, no family members, no adoring son to come home to, no double life to keep up. We see him in a sparse, dank, and totally depressing room in a run-down house. Completely and utterly ALONE.

Some would say that is karma, that he should end up miserable and lonely. But I was really hoping for a happy ending for this fictitious serial killer with a conscience. I mean, even Tony Soprano, who bought untold misery to just about ever character on that show, got to chill with his family when the curtain fell. I think Dexter deserved a little happiness too.

Do you like the way the series ended?

Image via Sho.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ericka Sóuter

is a veteran pop culture and celeb news writer. That experience boils down to two things: she knows way too much about the Kardashians and she dominates on Trivial Pursuit's arts and entertainment questions.

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Woman Finally Finds Her Son and He Wasn't At All Who She Expected (VIDEO)

woensdag 11 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Kiri Blakeley 13 hours ago

Sometimes, you just know you're a mom. Usually, it happens at the moment of birth. Sometimes, it happens when you first meet your adopted child. Sometimes, it takes a bit longer. It took social worker Connie Going 10 years to realize that 10-year-old Taylor Diaz was her son. But once she realized, that's all it took. Going had been trying to place Taylor, who had been taken from his drug-addicted parents when he was an infant, with a foster family. But due to behavioral problems, he was returned twice. But after seeing Taylor crying over the situation, she suddenly had an epiphany. Taylor was HERS!

Taylor and his two siblings were originally placed in a foster family arranged by Going. But his issues were too much for the family, who eventually returned him to foster care.

He was then placed with a second family, but that one too didn't pan out. Says Going:

All I could think about was how he was feeling and how he was blaming himself, again.

Taylor seems to have some perspective on his situation now, too, saying:

It was always somewhat my fault, but I didn't realize that, you know, when I was growing up.

Sometimes it can take awhile for your destiny to find you, or for you to realize something is your destiny. But it's never too late. And apparently these two were meant for each other.

After Going saw Taylor crying, she says:

You know that ache you get in your chest when your child is crying? I felt that. At that moment, he became my child.

So she stopped trying to find Taylor a home -- and adopted him!

Things didn't go totally smoothly at first. After Tyler threatened to run away, Going told him, "Taylor, I'm not sending you away."

Hearing that his various testing methods weren't resulting in being abandoned again, Taylor said, "Yeah, this is where I belong. She knows my worst side and she still cares about me and still loves me."

It may have taken a decade but the two of them are now exactly where they were supposed to be. Together.

Isn't that amazing?

Has a child ever tested you?

Image via CBS News

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Baby Decides Mom's Choice of Hospital Birth Wasn't a Good Idea

maandag 2 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Michele Zipp Yesterday at 9:30 AM

You could have what you think is an iron-clad birth plan. Maybe you have a doula and midwife and hypnobirthing plan. Perhaps you are ready for an epidural while wearing a hospital gown. But we all know that babies have their own birth plan. A plan we know nothing about.

Just like the kid who clearly wanted a Slurpee as their first drink and decided to be born outside of a 7-Eleven, Sheila Wallace's baby wanted nothing to do with a hospital or even home birth.

This baby wanted to stand out. The 31-year-old mother gave birth in the parking lot of the hospital. She arrived at St. Joseph's in Chippewa Falls, WI, at around 11 a.m. after having contractions in the morning. Her water broke at home but she wanted to get to the hospital. Luckily Sheila's mom Roxanne Dachel was with her. Husband Raleigh was at work. 

Sheila's words to her mom during that drive to the hospital were: "We’re fine mom. We’re not going to have this kid in the car." Baby girl McKenzie knew that was true, too. She wanted to be born outside the car. As soon as grandma parked and Sheila stepped out, she felt the urge to push and baby made her entrance. Grandma ran into the hospital to get help as Sheila birthed the baby right into her own arms. 

Within seconds it seemed everyone arrived. Nurses and doctors and proud papa Raleigh, all crowded around the car in the parking lot.

Sheila really believed she had more time. She has three kids already and with all of them she labored for at least four hours at this very same hospital. Not for baby McKenzie though. Her plan was quite different.

Mom and baby are doing fantastic! Congrats to the family and way to go McKenzie on your successful birth plan.

What do you think of this story? Do you think babies have their "own plan"?

Image via Greg Dunlap/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

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Jaden Smith Wasn't Horrified by Miley’s Twerking But These Celebs Were (Sort Of) (VIDEO)

dinsdag 27 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota

Oh man, did you guys see that AMAZING image of Will Smith and his family reacting to Miley Cyrus's deranged VMA performance? It's pretty much the greatest photo in the world: Jaden's face is crumpled in dismay, Willow's frozen in gaping horror, Will seems to be reeling back from whatever tongue-lolling insanity is happening onstage, and Jada's so shocked she's got her hand over her mouth.  

The only problem with this hilarious audience cam moment that seemed to so perfectly sum up what most of us thought of Miley's performance is that the Smith family wasn't reacting to Miley -- the photo was actually captured when Lady Gaga was singing.

I'm sorry to debunk the context of this deeply awesome reaction shot, but never fear! I've got four other equally fantastic images of famous faces watching Miley doing her twerking/foam-finger-fellating thing last Sunday night.

Here's the full image of the Smith family photo:

As it turns out, they weren't even really flipping out over Lady Gaga -- Willow's mouth is open because she's chewing gum like a boss:

The Smith clan's photo may have been misleading, but surely SOMEONE in the audience had a good reaction to Miley, right? Being as how she came out looking like this?

(Two words, Miley: tongue scraper.)

As it turns out, there were a few good facial responses caught on camera. Here are Rihanna and the One Direction boys looking less than impressed with Miley's stage antics:

HA. Rihanna's crew gives great bitchface.

Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez didn't seem quite so stony, but rather deeply confused:

As for Drake, he couldn't even look:

Drake's depressed vibe was instantly converted to a meme that pretty much said what we were all thinking:

Last but not least, some GENIUS put this Breaking Bad/VMAs mashup video together -- check out Hank and Marie reacting to Miley:

Which one of these best mirrors your own reaction to Miley Cyrus's VMA performance?

Images via MTV

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Man Arrested for ‘Dining and Dashing’ After Facebook Shaming Is Lucky He Wasn’t Punished More Severely

dinsdag 6 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 14 hours ago

Remember Mr. Dine and Dash, the guy who got called out on Facebook for skipping out on his restaurant bill? The restaurant, Brewster's Cabinet, asked their fans to call Reno police if they happened to spot the man in the photo they posted. Well, you will be pleased to hear that the accused dasher, Saul Zelaznog, has been arrested -- and it turns out Brewster's Cabinet wasn't the only place in town he'd stiffed.

Zelaznog (or Gonzalez, as he calls himself when it's not backwards name day) was technically arrested for a probation violation, though he may have to answer for skipping out on his bill in restaurants throughout Reno. Which he can explain! He just forgot his wallet. Multiple times.

In general I'm a little squeamish over the whole idea of shaming restaurant customers and workers via social media. I think it can go terribly wrong. People can be falsely accused, restaurant workers can get fired, restaurants can get death threats -- it can backfire. What about all the cheap tippers who crop up on Reddit all the time? Sometimes justice is served. And Zelaznog is innocent until proven guilty. But if all these accusations are true, then it's about time Gonzalezelaznog or whatever his name is took some responsibility for his careless actions. I mean, if you're not going to be super creative about skipping out on your restaurant bill, like these daring diners who jumped 55 stories, we need to come up with something. Here's a few ideas.

Wash all the dishes every night for a year.
Buy all the diners' dinner one night at each restaurant.
Literally sing for his supper -- take requests from customers and seranade everyone.
Wear a sign reading "I skipped out on my bill here" in front of each restaurant he stiffed.
Spend 100 hours of service in a soup kitchen.
Write apology notes to every single worker affected by his non-payments.

Do you think restaurant customers should get shamed via Facebook or Twitter?

Image via Brewster's Cabinet/Facebook

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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Man Arrested for ‘Dining and Dashing’ After Facebook Shaming Is Lucky He Wasn’t Punished More Severely

maandag 5 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 5 hours ago

Remember Mr. Dine and Dash, the guy who got called out on Facebook for skipping out on his restaurant bill? The restaurant, Brewster's Cabinet, asked their fans to call Reno police if they happened to spot the man in the photo they posted. Well, you will be pleased to hear that the accused dasher, Saul Zelaznog, has been arrested -- and it turns out Brewster's Cabinet wasn't the only place in town he'd stiffed.

Zelaznog was technically arrested for a probation violation, though he may have to answer for skipping out on his bill in restaurants throughout Reno. Which he can explain! Here's what Zelaznog has to say for himself.

In reference to the most recent incident at Brewster's, he claims he forgot to bring his wallet, but that he planned to pay that bill eventually, really he did. And that one time he skipped out on another restaurant bill? He totally left his watch as collateral. "I'm not trying to burn bridges around town," Zelaznog says. Yeah, funny thing, 'cause that's exactly what you're doing here. "This is a small little town," he added, as if this just occurred to him. WHY YES, IT IS, ISN'T IT, say all the restaurant owners and employers he's pissed off.

Of course, Zelaznog (or "Gonzalez," as he sometimes calls himself -- he can figure out how to spell his last name backwards, but he can't seem to remember his wallet, ever?) is innocent until proven guilty. But he does seem to have quite the following in Reno. If all these accusations are true, then it's about time Gonzalezelaznog or whatever his name is took some responsibility for his careless actions.

Profit margins at restaurants are notoriously slim. And restaurant workers work incredibly hard. No one gets a free ride, not if the rest of the honest patrons are paying their share. Saul is lucky he's not getting run out of town on a rail, old wild west-style.

In general I'm a little squeamish over the whole idea of shaming restaurant customers and workers via social media. I think it can go terribly wrong. People can be falsely accused, restaurant workers can get fired, restaurants can get death threats -- it can backfire. But sometimes justice is served. I don't know ... are all those other mistakes and slights worth catching this one guy? Maybe, maybe not.

Do you think restaurant customers should get shamed via Facebook or Twitter?

Image via Brewster's Cabinet/Facebook

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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College Student Told She Wasn’t Raped Because He Didn’t 'Finish'

woensdag 24 juli 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 2 hours ago

Can someone please help out the University of Southern California police? They seem a bit confused about how this how rape/sexual assault business works. In fact, it's gotten so bad that there's a federal investigation of the campus police and school officials into their alleged failure to prosecute rape. 13 people have filed complaints, including one woman who says she was told she wasn't raped because her assailant didn't orgasm.

"Because he stopped, it was not rape," the victim was told when she reported the rape, according to a complaint she filed. "Even though his penis penetrated your vagina, because he stopped, it was not a crime." 

Okay ladies? It's not rape if he stops. So someone can force himself on you, but if at some point he says, "Oh, my mistake! Excuse me while I remove myself here" and he hasn't ejaculated yet, it's not really rape. It's something we call "schmape." Schmape is more common than you think. I wonder what else the USC campus police classify as schmape, and not, you know, rape rape.

I'm kidding about the schmape. It's just... Where do they get these guys? Shouldn't you have to know what rape is in order to get hired with campus police? Would an IQ test be out of order?

Another woman complained that her ex-boyfriend raped her. She even had a recording of him bragging about it. But she says the campus police gave her the old "not my job" line, telling her their "goal was to offer an 'educative' process, not to 'punish' the assailant." First of all, ye gods, they don't even know what their job is (enforce the law???). Secondly, are these people really in a position to educate anyone about anything, let alone about sexual assault?

Then there was the student who reported a sexual assault at a frat house party. According to her complaint, campus police told her and a friend that women should not "go out, get drunk, and expect not to get raped." Well now we know; campus police are there to enforce the law, unless of course you go and get drunk and then you're on your own. Only men can get drunk. If you have a vagina, stay home and stay sober. Alcohol is just for the guys.

So the feds do an investigation and come to the shocking conclusion that the USC campus police are a bunch of stone-age knuckleheads. Now what? There are similar investigations happening at college campuses all over the country. Francesca Bessey, who is part of a group lawsuit, says she hopes it changes how college administrators and campus police respond to complaints about sexual assault. "For me, the technical outcome of the investigation is much less important than the consciousness I want it to inspire among decision makers at colleges and universities nationwide."

In other words, she wants to put these guys on notice. They're doing it wrong, and they need to get educated.

Are you surprised at the USC police's responses to these complaints about sexual assault?

Image via Brandon Grasley/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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