Divorced Couple Forced to Split Their House in Half and Live Under the Same Roof

dinsdag 17 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 2 hours ago

Can you imagine living in the same house as your ex-spouse after your divorce was final? Well, that's exactly what's happening to one couple in Spain. A judge has decided that their home should be split into two separate spaces -- because he believes it's what's best for the well being of the couple's children, and it will benefit them financially.

Their pad is a 2,700-square-foot apartment, and supposedly it's going to be split in half so the wife can live upstairs while the husband resides downstairs.

And while it's not exactly the worst arrangement in the world given the fact that they will at least have their own spaces -- it definitely does lend itself to more conflict if they have trouble treating each other civilly.

And what if the two units in the home don't have separate entrances? Yeah, that could get a little bit awkward, especially when one of them moves on and brings home a date for a night cap, if you catch my drift.

Huh. I may be going out on a bit of a limb here -- but maybe if these two had been ordered to live in different areas of the house a while ago, they wouldn't be going through a divorce right now. Come on ... think about it for a second. What if you had part of your house that was strictly designated as yours where your husband was not permitted to enter? You know, like your own private bathroom that smells like lavender and doesn't have towels thrown on the floor.

Or what if you had your very own bedroom complete with a big, fluffy bed where the sheets are perfectly tucked in and you don't have to fight anyone for the covers at night? (I could get behind that. Just throwing it out there.)

And I'm sure most husbands wouldn't complain about having a man cave to retreat to when they need a little time on their own. Maybe if the dude in Spain had one, it would've been just enough to do the trick and get their relationship back on track again.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm thinking a lot of fights could be avoided if couples had a little bit more breathing room.

Wishful thinking, I'm sure -- but wouldn't it be funny if living apart is exactly what these two need to find their way back together? Stranger things have happened.

Could you share your home with your ex?

Image via Reading Tom/Flickr

Click "Like" if you're a single mom — and proud! ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include Pinot Grigio on ice and Harry Styles -- in that order.

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3 Things to Tell Your Kids When You're Getting Divorced

donderdag 12 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Jenny Erikson 2 hours ago

The other day I made an offhand remark to a friend about something my soon-to-be-ex-husband had done that I found irritating, to put it mildly. Then I realized that my kiddos were right there with me, and overheard my gah I can’t believe he did that(!) comment.

I paused my conversation and launched into my go-to speech whenever something negative comes up about their dad or anything about our impending divorce. “Girls, this divorce is not your fault ...” I didn’t have a chance to finish as both my daughters rolled their eyes and interrupted, “... and you and Daddy both love us very much.”

Divorce with kids is rough, man, and trying to decide what to tell them, how much to tell them, when to tell them, etc., is no easy decision. Everyone has an opinion, and make no mistake, you will be judged for whatever you decide to do. Because of course you didn’t stay married ‘for the kids,’ so now you’re supposed to be an extra perfect parent. You know, to make up for your inability to stay married.

Anyway. You have the people that say you should be completely transparent and reveal the gory details. Then you have the people that think kids should be left completely unaware of what went down in the marriage to protect them and also it’s none of their business.

I think the best answer is somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. I think it is their business, in part, if for no other reason than Mommy and Daddy don’t live together or do that gross kissing thing anymore. They’re going to notice. That said, they really don’t need to know about my inner turmoil or what the straw that broke my marriage’s back was.

No matter how much or how little you decide to reveal to your kids about your divorce, there are three key things that you should tell them.

"This is not your fault." All kids have a tendency to self-blame, so repeat this one over and over. Don’t just say it, live it too. If your child hears, “If only your father had made dinner once in a while,” your child will hear, “If I hadn’t needed dinner, maybe my parents would still be married.”“We both love you very, very much.” Does this one even need an explanation? Even if your co-parent doesn’t act like it, you can use the old fallback of, “He just has a hard time showing it.”“Daddy is not a bad person/jerk/asshat.” Ok, so you don’t have to state this one specifically, but do refrain from name-calling. Your kids are half you and half your ex. If you resort to personal attacks, your kids won’t hear that their dad is a douche canoe; they’ll hear that they’re a douche canoe, because they are half of him. Then they might ask what douche means or, worse, look it up on the Internet, so really it’s better to just avoid the whole thing.

When you’ve done all that, then snuggle, hug, run, play, eat cookies together, and generally show them that they are wonderful little human beings capable of great joy. The best lesson you can teach by example to your kids after your split with their dad is that their happiness is not dependent on their parents’ marital status.

How much do you think kids need to know about their parents' divorce?

Image via Jenny Erikson

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jenny Erikson

is a conservative chick living in Southern California with her two daughters. She loves politics and hates laundry.

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