8 Special Motherhood Moments I Took for Granted

vrijdag 13 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 16 hours ago

After hearing that actress Tiffani Thiessen misses the baby phase now that her daughter is 3 years old, I couldn't help but nod my head in agreement. Our kids grow up so fast, and the time we have with them while they're infants is priceless -- and we can never get it back.

But sadly, most of us don't realize just how precious that period in time is until we're well out of it -- or at least that has been the case for me.

I won't lie -- the first year of my son's life was HARD. I was exhausted to a point I never believed a human being could be exhausted. And I was so overwhelmed at times that I thought I'd never make it through the whole parenting thing in one piece.

And that's why I wished away so many special moments with my baby.

My mantra seemed to be, "I can't wait."

"I can't wait until he can talk and tell me what he wants."

"I can't wait until he's potty trained and I don't have to deal with diapers anymore."

"I can't wait until he eats normal food and I don't have to warm bottles or try and get the orange stains from mashed sweet potatoes off his little nose."

"I can't wait ... blah, blah, blah."

But now that my little guy is 7 going on 30 -- I could kick myself for not taking a deep breath and savoring the time when he was a baby. If time machines really existed, I'd hop into one in a heartbeat to go back to the first year of his life, and this time, I'd appreciate ALL of it. The good. The bad. And most of all, the irreplaceable stuff.

With that being said, here are eight moments I really regret not embracing a whole lot more. (Man. I had no idea just how good I had it.)

Rocking him back to sleep -- I can't tell you how many nights I sat in the glider chair trying to get him back into dreamland -- when all I wanted to do was go back to bed myself. And now? I'd give anything to hold him in my arms and feel the warmth of his head on my shoulder and his breath on my neck. He needed me. And I needed him. I want that kind of closeness again.Carrying him -- Sure, my arms were tired. But when I was ready to head out the door, all I had to do was scoop him up and put him in the car. Getting him out of the house as a 7-year-old is a much bigger battle. "Just one more minute Mom!" "Can't I just finish doing xyz, Mom?" It's kind of tough to lug a 50-pounder around, so I'm outta luck in that department.Changing his diaper -- Yes, I actually miss diaper changes. Because even though they were a mess sometimes, I never had to frantically search for a rest stop on the highway in the middle of nowhere when he had to go. And I also never had to hop out of the shower mid-shampoo because he'd taken a poop and needed me to wipe him. (Diapers rock.)Getting up super early in the morning -- I saw 4:30 a.m. on the clock almost every day until he was 3 years old. But looking back on it now, waking up before the roosters was a gift -- because he'd light up like a Christmas tree when I walked into his room to get him. I know he still loves me, but nothing can touch the excitement a baby feels simply by seeing his mother coming toward him with open arms. It really is exhilarating.Playing with him -- It sounds so awful to say it out loud, but there were days I dreaded sitting on the floor and playing with my baby because I just wanted to take a nap or read a magazine. I really took for granted how awesome it was to make him erupt into fits of laughter simply by playing peek-a-boo or putting a couple musical toys in front of him. I swear it's 1,000 times harder to impress that kid now. If I hear "I'm bored" one more time, my head might explode.The days before he started talking -- Oh, how the non-verbal thing used to drive me nuts! I was convinced that life would be easier once he could communicate. And I guess in a way it is, but it also has the opposite effect, because now he has absolutely NO problem telling me exactly what he wants, when he wants it, how he wants it -- you get the idea. Crying and fussing out of frustration is so underrated.The luxury of riding in the car -- Going for a drive always seemed like a pain because, well, infant car seats are such a pain, particularly in winter. But I had no idea what a privilege it was to be able to jam to whatever tunes I damn well pleased because my baby didn't know the difference. Unless I'm alone, my 7-year-old controls the radio. We're in a One Direction phase right now, which is cool with me. But I hope it doesn't change to something unbearable anytime soon.Feeding him -- Whether it was giving him a bottle or trying to get some solids into him while he sat in the highchair and protested, there were so many times I longed for the days when I didn't have to put any effort into mealtime. But it's so much harder to get him to eat now that there are times when I really wish I could strap him back to the highchair, pour some Cheerios on his tray, and call it a day instead of trying to get him to sit still and finish his dinner. (And at least when he was having his bottle, he was cuddled up in my arms -- something else that seems to be occurring less and less with each passing year.)

Sigh. I may not miss the baby phase enough to want to have another baby. But if someone ever offered me a do-over with my little dude, I'd jump at the opportunity. And this time I'd treasure it.

Are you guilty of wishing away moments with your baby? (Don't be me!)

Image via Mary Fischer

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include Pinot Grigio on ice and Harry Styles -- in that order.

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Lindsay Lohan's Interview with Oprah: 8 Mind-Blowing Moments

maandag 19 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Kiri Blakeley 5 hours ago

Four days out of her sixth rehab stay, The Canyons star Lindsay Lohan stopped by to chat with Oprah Winfrey for her show Next Chapter. Where else would you go, right? Lindsay looked better than she has in a long time. Her skin was glowing. She's back to her red hair (goodbye to that godawful platinum). And whoever did her makeup did a really good job! That said, Linds was there to purge her demons. Confession is good for the soul. And Oprah is a celeb's favorite confessional. She's the high priestess of celebrity-gone-wrong atonement. So what did Lindsay have to say? Let's get to it, shall we. Here are eight watercooler moments from the interview.

1. Her jail sentence. Lindsay was sentenced to 90 days in jail back in 2010. Although Linds said this wasn't her full wake up call, it was like a half wakeup call. Kind of like the phone rings and you hear it, but you're really sleepy, and so you only half wake up, and then you roll over and go back to sleep. Only Lindsay rolled over and then went back to party. "I was terrified," says Linds of her time in the clink. "But not terrified enough to stop what you were doing?" asked Oprah. "No," said Lindsay. She also added that, subconsciously, she "wanted" to go to jail. Just to "get some peace." Dang, life must be rough when jail seems like a good way to relax.

2. Lindsay is an addict. Oprah came right out and asked if Lindsay was an addict and she said "Yeah." So that's settled.

3. Lindsay is addicted to alcohol. Asked her drug of choice, LiLo said alcohol. Though she admits that she wouldn't have turned down a nice Adderall/cocaine/martini cocktail. But that's all in the past.

4. Why this time is different. Sixth time is the charm for Lindsay. She's now feeling "spiritual," and "ready to get honest." She is also "exhausted by the chaos." She'd also like to get back to something close to the proximity of the acting respect she used to enjoy. But, you know, one day at a time ...

5. Lindsay blew all of her money. At one point, Linds was making $7 million a film. She has no idea where it went. I assure you I don't have it.

6. Her parents. Lindsay says she is still very close with her parents, Michael and Dina, despite all of the dysfunction and drama they caused her. "I hate what a bad rap people give my parents," she said. "But I've asked that they keep our life private, please." Hear that, Michael? No more selling your private phone calls with your daughter, 'kay?

7. Lindsay knows she could be dead. Lindsay acknowledged that her lifestyle could have ended tragically, as it has for so many others. "I've got some serious guardian angels," she said. True, but guardian angels get worn out too. No one should count on them for too long.

8. Lindsay won't be going to Europe thanks to Oprah "Buzzkill" Winfrey. When Lindsay's plans to head to Europe for a yoga and meditation retreat leaked to Oprah, she basically forbade Linds to go, worried it would topple her resolve to not party. Because, you know, there's so much partying in those darn meditation retreats! Those stinkin' monks are always getting wasted! Anyway, two days after the interview, LiLo cancelled her trip. Oprah Winfrey: World Mother.

So, that's a wrap, folks. Lindsay sounds like she's serious this time. Lindsay is no dummy and she's got a certain vulnerability about her that makes you root for her. Her insistence that she wanted to be back on top of her career again was a little unsettling -- career success is not the gateway to serenity. But we shall see what happens.

As Oprah said to Lindsay, "I want you to win." I think we'd all like her to win. But sometimes the only way to win is not to play.

Did you watch the interview?

Image via OWN

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11 Moms Share the Funny Moments When Their Water Broke

zaterdag 13 juli 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer Yesterday at 3:46 PM

After hearing about the pregnant radio show host whose water broke on the air out in Denver, I have to admit feeling like I kind of got gypped when I had my son seven years ago. I wound up being induced 10 days early because he was getting too big, so the doctors broke my water with one of those funky little sticks instead of it happening naturally. (Oh yes, it was just as pleasant as it sounds.)

It would've been so cool to reminisce about where I was and what I was doing when the water started flowing. Since I don't have a good story to tell, I thought it would be fun to check with other moms to see what kind of laughable moments they had. (So I can live vicariously through them.)

Get ready to chuckle after hearing these 11 water breaking stories moms will never forget!

"I was at a bar at a 30th birthday party. I was so embarrassed as I didn't have a single contraction leading up to this point and just prayed that I didn't wet my pants, lol! Thank goodness it was fall and I could wrap a jacket around my waist as we exited." -- Jenny"They broke it for me the first time around, second time it happened in the car on the way to the hospital. I just said to my husband, 'Sorry, I'm getting the car all wet.' Ha. I felt bad but it was just trickling. Not a gush." -- Wendy"I had just gotten up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom, waddled back to bed, and then thought, 'Hmmm ... I just peed ... and now I'm peeing again?!' But yeah, it was my water breaking. In the bed." -- Sarah, In the Trenches of Mommyhood"I was going up the stairs with a basket of laundry." -- Tressa"We were regulars at the Memphis Tiger basketball games and sat right next to the student section. We had made friends with some of these students and they all had come to know me as the pregnant girl. As soon as the team announcements began, I stood up and my water broke. I didn't want to alarm anyone, so I slowly started gathering my things and my water continued to run down my leg (it was a high break -- so continuously leaking). As soon as the lights came back on, my family and I started leaving in single file and the student section stood up and clapped for us (knowing full well by this time what going on due to the massive amounts of water down my jeans). I waved to them all and went on to the hospital." -- Morgan"I remember exactly where I was. I had just dropped J at daycare, was walking to my car and was like 'eh, that's a bit wet,' drove home, finished packing my bags, all the while leaking fluid all over the house with the dog following me around. I drove to the doctor and walked in with a towel between my legs. The poor women in the waiting room were gasping. The doctor comes in and goes, 'Why are you here, go to the hospital!?!' I told them I had called the office and they told me to come in. My husband met me at the doctor's office and then we went to the hospital, got checked in, and four hours later, my son was born." -- Anonymous"I was at a Michaels craft store in line. I finished my purchase and then drove myself to the hospital. Was admitted and had her the next day. I'll never forget the dude in line before me -- his face was priceless, and he let me cut in line." -- Kristen, Mommy in Sports"I was in line at Home Depot for one, and on a dance floor with my husband's co-workers with number four, and at his Christmas party for another one!" -- Buffy"With my middle child I was in church and my pastor was delivering the sermon. I was so embarrassed. Imagine walking out of a quiet church with your shoes squeaking from the water collecting in them!!" -- Jocelyn"My water broke at home in the bathroom. Since the child birth teacher suggested smelling to make sure it's not urine, I went in to my husband who was sleeping, put my underwear in his face, and said, 'Smell this.' And he said, 'Get out of my face.' I stood in awe for a moment until he sat up and said panicked, 'Is it time?!'" -- KristenI was so nervous it would break in public, but it broke when I was in labor. I had an epidural already, so I said, 'I either wet the bed, or my water broke ...' Turns out I did not wet the bed." -- Maggie

Do you have a funny water breaking story you'd care to share?

Image via dlisbona/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer

is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include cosmopolitans, reality TV, and shoes that don't pinch her feet.

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