'Toast Scented' Perfume Is Only Mildly Weird Compared to These 5 Other Scents

donderdag 26 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Rebecca Stokes 2 hours ago

The bread bakers of this world have taken all they can take, and they will stand for it no more! To protest "anti-bread" diets, The United Federation of Bakers released a toast-scented perfume during London's Fashion week. Their goal? To make toast "sexy" again. Begging the question, was toast ever sexy? I mean, folks eat it in bed, but that's mainly out of laziness ... or so I am told by people who are DEFINITELY not me.

The bakers might have been better off reminding people that bread is good for you! In a staunchly carb-scared culture, that's easy to forget. Bread contains protein, fiber, calcium, iron, copper, zinc, and manganese. Plus, it's low-cal, yo!

While this weird scheme might not bring bread back into the good graces of the fashion world, it's definitely got me thinking about other foods that should have their own scents. As such, I've put together a list of other companies who should make their own perfumes. Let's get our delicious stink on, guys!

1. Beef Jerky Companies

It's delicious and an excellent source of protein. Sadly most of us avoid it because we are not 18-year-old boys on a road-trip. But a sexy spritz of beefy musky? Meow. Jerky -- it's what's for dinner.

2. Popcorn Companies

I love microwave popcorn so much that the idea of ripping apart the bag to dab my pressure points with the butter doesn't seem that much of a stretch. Though granted, spraying on the aroma would probably be much more pleasant.

3. Bagel Companies

Worth it for the design of the bottle alone. If I could start each day smelling like an everything bagel, I would be happy and everyone would want to sit next to me in meetings.

4. Cupcake Companies

There's a lot of perfume that tries to smell like dessert. Most of it falls short of the mark, tending to be sickly sweet and cloying. What I wouldn't give to sniff the bottled honest-to-god smell of a warm, vanilla cake -- buttery bliss!

5. Waffle Companies

Nothing says couture like waffles ... which don't say it at all. It's a pity too, because I've always thought that Anna Wintour probably smelled like toasted vanilla and maple syrup.

Would you wear toast perfume?

Image via Bakers' Federation

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rebecca Stokes

Rebecca is a writer who lives in Brooklyn with her cats. She is probably even at this moment spilling food on herself.

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Dads Are WAY Cooler With Each Other About Parenting Stuff Than Moms

vrijdag 20 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by David Serchuk 12 hours ago

I don’t know why, but from what I’ve seen dads are about 1000x chiller with one another than moms are. While you guys are all judging one another on just about everything -- breast feeding, sleeping, vaccinations, whatever -- we pretty much give the other dads we see high-fives, and nod. You’re doing your best, dog. I get it.

All you have to do is look at the comments section of any parenting site. (Maybe even this one? I won’t say.) If it has to do with birth, schooling, or, again, breast feeding, women are all up in one another’s business. 

I just don’t see that from dads. You know how many negative comments and/or judgments I’ve gotten from my guy friends about my parenting? Absolutely zero. And I’ve been a dad for five years! I’m pretty sure I’ve made at least a few big mistakes in that time. In fact, I know it. I’ve even told some of my friends about these mistakes. Their response? Either they don’t care, or they understand, because they’ve made some mistakes too.

Do we dads set the bar too low? After all, we’ve heard a lot about the ongoing crisis in fatherhood. You know, deadbeat dads, dads barely in their kids’ lives, all that stuff. Maybe there wouldn’t be as many dad-related problems if we got a little preachy with one another? I can’t say. But we’re just not. (Maybe I’m just lucky all my friends are good dads?)

Where does this lack of parenting judgment come from? One guess: Dads just aren’t as fascinated by the families of their dad friends as moms are. Example: I’ll be on the phone with a friend, someone I haven’t spoken to for a while. At the end of it I’ll get off, having had a great time, catching up. My wife will ask how my friend is doing, and whether his pregnant wife finally gave birth. My answer: I don’t know? This always blows her mind.

But we were talking, you know? About stuff we always talk about: politics, comic books, maybe sports, stuff we did in summer camp in 1987. Timmy taking the bottle doesn’t always make the cut.

But if we did discuss our kids I’m pretty sure we would have said we each were doing a good job.

Why do you think dads aren't as judgmental of other dads as moms are of each other?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR David Serchuk

David Serchuk lives in Louisville, Kentucky, with his wife, daughter, and two cats. He loves to play music, read, do stuff with that wife and daughter, and sometimes even write. In 1995 he had a column called "Serchuk on Sex," but that was some time ago.

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Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy Show How They Really Feel About Each Other in Court

zaterdag 14 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 23 hours ago

I'm sorry to report, Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy relations appear to be at an all-time low. It's a bit chilly between these two battling parents. How chilly? Glaciers impervious to global warming chilly. Avoiding eye contact chilly. Yeah, it's that bad. According to a witness, when Jason and Bethenny met in court the other day they couldn't even bring themselves to look each other in the eyes.

The witness says,

They completely avoided eye contact and communication despite being within three feet of each other. As Bethenny made her way past Jason, he put his head down and busied himself on his phone. He couldn't bring himself to look at her.

When they were finally dismissed after an hour and a painful half they both got out in a hurry -- especially Bethenny, the source says.

Ooh, avoiding eye contact. That is one of the biggest signs of repressed contempt there is. That's what you do when you know just looking at someone is going to set off a nuclear warhead. I'm so sorry it's still this bad. It's been a year and things are still so tense between these two. Poor Bryn! Jason and Bethenny are supposed to be co-parenting. They were supposed to stay friends.

Is there just too much money at stake for Bethenny and Jason to reach harmony?

I don't know what it's going to take to get these two to stop hating each other. Maybe the damage is permanent. I can see how it could take several months for a divorcing couple with children to heal their wounds and move forward. But this? Time does not seem to be healing anything at all. 

And if time isn't changing anything, I don't know what else could. Maybe when Bryn is a little older she'll be able to say something that will melt her parents hearts. But until then, it looks like Bethenny and Jason are permanently frozen in frostville.

Do you think Jason and Bethenny will ever reconcile enough to at least be civil with each other?

Image via Erin Kelly/Flickr

Click the "Like" button below if you're a fan of Real Housewives. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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'Walking Dead' Season 4 Spoilers: A Mysterious Deadly 'Force' and 5 Other Brand New Revelations

dinsdag 3 september 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Linda Sharps 1 hour ago

When last we visited the topic of Walking Dead spoilers from the upcoming fourth season, I was telling you about how there may be big changes ahead for two of the main characters. The latest scoop comes courtesy of a VERY interesting article over at The Hollywood Reporter, which includes no less than 14 season 4 spoilers.

Of course, we're all using the term "spoiler" a little loosely, because most of these revelations would fall into what I would call the teaser category. That doesn't mean they aren't fascinating as all get out, though. I've rounded up six of the juiciest season 4 announcements the Walking Dead cast and creators decided to share in this latest interview. (Don't read further if you haven't watched season 3!)

One episode will follow the comics storyline exactly. Co-executive producer and special effects guru Greg Nicotero says one upcoming season 4 episode will be "almost verbatim" with a Walking Dead comic issue:

It's really fascinating to make those slight departures, introduce new characters and then get to a situation where you take one episode and you really stick to the source material. You'll be surprised about the way the characters lay out.

Ooh, which one could it possibly be? The really big storylines that come to mind -- the suicide pact, Rick beating the murderer, Rick fighting Tyreese -- involve characters that aren't in the show, so I'm VERY curious how this will turn out.

Rick isn't likely to keep hallucinating Lori. OH THANK GOD. According to Andrew Lincoln, who plays Rick,

Lori's death was incredibly well-explored last season and I'm one of these actors that doesn't like repeating things. One of the great strengths of the show is that we don't like to repeat things. Perhaps we won't see any white-dressed wives appearing this season -- but who knows!

Please just don't, AMC. I am so all done with Lori, thank you very much.

It's possible Michonne may be the one who will find where the Governor's been since last season -- and deliver his punishment. Show creator Robert Kirkman says,

More than any other character, Michonne is driven to find the Governor and find out what's going on with him; where he is, what he may be plotting and bringing him to justice.

That much-teased 'threat' is seriously a BFD. Dude, they are selling this mysterious threat so hard I sure hope it can live up to all the hype. Showrunner Scott Gimple:

It's someone we haven't seen before. Someone unusual; you can't stab them in the face, you can't reason with it. It's a force that would be dangerous in this world and in the world of The Walking Dead, it's terrifying.

It's "someone" -- not "something" -- you can't stab? Okay, I've theorized about this a million times, but I'm officially out. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

The zombies are going to be unexpectedly dangerous. The crew has been very clear that the walker threat would be increased in season 4, but Nicotero made an interesting comment about the upcoming surprise factor:

Our group became very proficient at killing walkers, so one of the things that Scott and I talked about after season three was we wanted that threat to be ever constant and ever present. We've devised ways to put our characters in instantaneous jeopardy without them being prepared for it.

Maybe he's talking about herds? At any rate, it sure sounds like there will be plenty of holy-crap moments to look forward to, doesn't it?

The very first episode will introduce new characters and that new threat. Season 4 will follow the split-season strategy where there will essentially be one main story, a mid-season finale, then a second story in the second half of the season. Of the season premiere, Nicotero says,

It's really the one episode of the season where there's a little bit of lightheartedness before the shit hits the fan. It doesn't last very long.

I say this every time, but I can't WAIT. Come on, October 13!

What do you think about these new season 4 teases? Do you have any more guesses for the Mysterious Deadly Threat™?

Image via AMC

Click the "Like" button below to get Linda Sharps's stories on Facebook. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Linda Sharps

lives in Eugene, Oregon with her family, where she works from home while wrangling two rambunctious boys. She always has a caffeinated beverage in hand and a LEGO embedded in her foot.

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Couples Who Don't Face Each Other During Sex Shouldn't Get Married, Says Wacky Anti-Gay Congresswoman

woensdag 21 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Kiri Blakeley 17 hours ago

We've heard some odd reasons why gay people shouldn't be allowed to get legally married. Like that they "undermine" the institution of marriage. Like heterosexual people who get married for a split second don't? Or that they can't procreate. Like all heterosexual couples can? But this one is a doozy. Hold your hat. A congresswoman from Mexico reportedly said that gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry because they don't face each other during sex. Yes, Ana María Jiménez Ortiz, who represents the state of Puebla, which is considering legalizing gay marriage, reportedly said:

Marriage should only be considered in those relationships in which the members have sex while facing each other.

Ummm. WHAT?!

She also reportedly went on (and I'm not making this up):

A marriage should only be considered amongst people that can look at each other in the eye while having sexual intercourse, something that does not happen in homosexual couples.

After a backlash on Twitter, Ortiz backpeddled on her "face only" sex statement, but the damage was done. Let's face it (har!), there are lots of ways to have sex besides that which brings you eyeball to eyeball!

Hello, Ms. Ortiz. Oral sex? Minimal eye contact, I assure you. Doggie style, perhaps? You should try it. Okay, then there's 69. I won't explain. You figure it out.

Oh my goodness, has Ms. Ortiz not read the Kama Sutra? That's a hypothetical. I won't even get into Fifty Shades of Grey. Please let us not even consider blindfolds. Or blind people?!

There are so many ways to have sex and to have intimacy. The day that missionary sex becomes the sole way couples can have sex or they can't be legally married ... well, a lot of us would suddenly be divorced.

Who is to say what is "natural"? Plenty of animals don't look each other in the face when they have sex. Luckily, they don't need people like Ms. Ortiz.

This is the screwiest (har!) reason to be anti-gay marriage I've ever heard of. It's not just homophobic. It's, like, funaphobic.

Ms. Ortiz must be a riot in the bedroom.

Do you think that sex should always be face to face?

Image via Kainr/Flickr

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