'Toast Scented' Perfume Is Only Mildly Weird Compared to These 5 Other Scents

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by Rebecca Stokes 2 hours ago

The bread bakers of this world have taken all they can take, and they will stand for it no more! To protest "anti-bread" diets, The United Federation of Bakers released a toast-scented perfume during London's Fashion week. Their goal? To make toast "sexy" again. Begging the question, was toast ever sexy? I mean, folks eat it in bed, but that's mainly out of laziness ... or so I am told by people who are DEFINITELY not me.

The bakers might have been better off reminding people that bread is good for you! In a staunchly carb-scared culture, that's easy to forget. Bread contains protein, fiber, calcium, iron, copper, zinc, and manganese. Plus, it's low-cal, yo!

While this weird scheme might not bring bread back into the good graces of the fashion world, it's definitely got me thinking about other foods that should have their own scents. As such, I've put together a list of other companies who should make their own perfumes. Let's get our delicious stink on, guys!

1. Beef Jerky Companies

It's delicious and an excellent source of protein. Sadly most of us avoid it because we are not 18-year-old boys on a road-trip. But a sexy spritz of beefy musky? Meow. Jerky -- it's what's for dinner.

2. Popcorn Companies

I love microwave popcorn so much that the idea of ripping apart the bag to dab my pressure points with the butter doesn't seem that much of a stretch. Though granted, spraying on the aroma would probably be much more pleasant.

3. Bagel Companies

Worth it for the design of the bottle alone. If I could start each day smelling like an everything bagel, I would be happy and everyone would want to sit next to me in meetings.

4. Cupcake Companies

There's a lot of perfume that tries to smell like dessert. Most of it falls short of the mark, tending to be sickly sweet and cloying. What I wouldn't give to sniff the bottled honest-to-god smell of a warm, vanilla cake -- buttery bliss!

5. Waffle Companies

Nothing says couture like waffles ... which don't say it at all. It's a pity too, because I've always thought that Anna Wintour probably smelled like toasted vanilla and maple syrup.

Would you wear toast perfume?

Image via Bakers' Federation

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rebecca Stokes

Rebecca is a writer who lives in Brooklyn with her cats. She is probably even at this moment spilling food on herself.

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