10 Ways Working Moms Can Kiss the Guilt Goodbye

woensdag 28 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota

Most of the time, I love being a working mom. I work because it puts food on our table (and in my daughter's belly), but also because I find it fulfilling. But a long day at work drains you. And then you come home to your child and still want to give them your all as a mother. 

If you ever get the feeling that your quality time with your kiddo is being sucked away by the time you spend making dinner, doing laundry, and running the bathtub, join the club.

And then stop worrying about it. There are plenty of ways to be a working mom and still stay connected with your child, even after a long day at work. Sometimes you just need to think a little out of the box:

1. Family game night. Why do I feel like people used to do this all the time but no one does it anymore? Maybe it's more that people don't talk about it? Anyway! We started playing board games with our daughter during a power outage one night, and I realized just how much fun it was for all of us -- one of the rare things everyone in the house enjoyed doing.

2. Plant something. Something as simple as growing a tomato plant together is not only educational, but gives you something to do together, from the actual planting to watering to weeding ... it's like the gift that keeps on giving.

3. Play dinnertime games. You're already eating dinner anyway, so kill two birds with one stone -- try some mealtime games to spice up the conversation and get the kids giggling ... and talking about their day.

4. Feed the birds. Set up a birdfeeder outside your window, and check it daily with your kids. This is an other educational idea, but it also gives you something to talk about, especially with kids who are hard to draw out after a long day of pre-school!

5. Start a community service project. Teach your kids about giving back while you do something for the good of others too. It could be something simple that you can do in one night, such as visiting the local animal shelter on your drive home to drop off a bag of dog food, or you can plan something ongoing that you can do in dribs and drabs when you have time, such as clearing out their toybox to donate gently used items to the local domestic violence shelter.

6. Color. Not exactly creative? Yeah, well when was the last time YOU sat down and colored in a coloring box instead of letting them do it all? It's actually very therapeutic, and if you're side-by-side, coloring in your own little books, you have a captive audience to talk to them about their day.

7. Play car games. Do you pick the kids up and drive while staring straight ahead, just willing the traffic to disappear from in front of you so you can get home? Do you try asking them about their day and find it's like pulling teeth? Try playing the same car games you'd play on longer road trips -- it will get them laughing, and hopefully talking. If nothing else, they'll make the car rides memorable in the years to come.

8. Scrapbook together. You know all those photos you have always meant to put in albums? Ask the kids to HELP you with it. Albums complete AND kid bonded with.

9. Watching funny videos online. Laughter is the best medicine, right? So pull the kid on your lap, pull out your laptop, and get giggling. Even if it's just for 15 minutes.

10. Teach them to cook. Don't let them being underfoot while you make dinner annoy the pants off of you. Put them to work! I realized recently how much fun my kid really is when she's got an apron on!

What do you do after a long day at work to stay connected with your kids?

Image by Jeanne Sager

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New Bride Killed in Venice Beach Boardwalk Rampage Never Got to Say Goodbye to Her Husband (VIDEO)

maandag 5 augustus 2013

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by Kiri Blakeley 1 hour ago

People are still in shock over what happened in Venice Beach, California over the weekend. A man drove up onto the famed Los Angeles boardwalk and began plowing down people with his car. And it doesn't look like an accident. Witnesses say it appeared the man was aiming directly for people and was intent on killing them. One woman was killed; 11 others were injured. The man, Nathan Campbell, has been arrested and charged with murder.

Newlywed Alice Gruppioni, 32, should have been having one of the best days of her life. And until Campbell entered it, she was. Alice and her husband, Christian Casadei, were on their honeymoon. The pair live in Italy. One minute, the pair were strolling on the promenade, enjoying the beautiful, sunny day, and the next, Alice was dead.

This is so heartbreaking. Christian is still in disbelief that his new wife is gone. He reportedly said:

We were walking, we were happy, we were on our honeymoon and everything, and suddenly everything changed. I still can't believe it, and I don't even remember exactly what happened. It's all very confusing.

Imagine beginning your new life with your new husband, and then, in a flash, it's over. For no reason. The couple were only married two weeks ago and sunny Los Angeles was their dream honeymoon destination.

Christian reportedly told an Italian news agency:

It's a tragedy. There's nothing more to say.

Pictures of the attractive pair on Facebook show them smiling and happy at their wedding. No doubt they were planning many more years of love, travel, and togetherness. Maybe children.

And now Christian will plan a funeral instead.

A reason for the driver's carnage hasn't yet been released -- if there is one. But it's pretty telling that he ran from the scene despite absolutely seeing the death and mayhem he had just caused. It's inconceivable that someone would want to do this on purpose. But as we know from Sandy Hook Elementary and many other tragedies, the inconceivable does happen.

You just don't expect it to happen on your honeymoon.

What do you think happened?

Image via Sweet California Photography/Flickr

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My Friend Died Before I Could Say Goodbye

vrijdag 26 juli 2013

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by Adriana Velez 16 hours ago

This morning when I got into work, I found a message waiting for me. It was from the husband of a friend of mine: "Cherie passed away Tuesday from metastatic cancer..." Cherie, who I'd known nearly 20 years. Cancer?!? What cancer? I scrolled through my emails to find the last time I'd heard from her. It was June 14, when she congratulated a mutual friend on a new job: "Great news!" she'd said. "What are you looking forward to in your new job?" She was diagnosed with cancer just a week after that, June 22. It ravaged her quickly.

I never got to tell her goodbye.

This cancer was sneaky. Her husband says she'd been feeling fatigued -- what working mother doesn't feel fatigued? But it was severe enough to keep her in bed for a week. By the time she checked into a hospital and was diagnosed, the cancer had spread throughout several organs. Her husband says she had an averse reaction to the chemotherapy, which probably contributed to her rapid decline. Meanwhile he was too busy dealing with his wife's illness and their two children, plus teaching her summer college course, to alert her friends.

Oh yes, she leaves behind a young daughter and son. I can't stand that they will have to grow up without her.

Cherie was brilliant and funny, a Russian historian with a PhD from Yale who was writing satirical news stories long before The Onion came along. She was also wise and compassionate. She was part of a small, close group of girlfriends of mine scattered all over the globe who'd kept in touch for the past 14 or so years. Whenever someone complained about their husband or colleague, she was always the first to affirm your frustration while also helping you see things from the other person's perspective.

Her compassion was driven by curiosity -- it was her nature to wonder about someone's apparent foibles and weaknesses before judging them.

My former husband and I used to drive up the three hours to Connecticut to visit Cherie and her husband. We would cook together, argue about art. The hostas that grow in my front garden came from her garden. Over the years we had our children and these visits became infrequent. We had talked about getting together for years, but just never got around to it.

I'm furious that I let so much time pass, that I didn't try harder ... but of course I thought I had all the time in the world. You always do. Her friendship was a treasure I carelessly took for granted, like a gem you keep in a box and pull out only every so often, when you think of it.

I wish I could tell her what she meant to me over the years, how much I loved her nerdiness, how she challenged me to think more critically, to be more curious about people. How I think of her every time I ride my bike up a particular hill in the park near my home -- I think of the Russian word she used when she went running, to urge herself on. I can't remember the exact Russian word, actually, only that it sounded like "donuts," and that she found the coincidence hilariously absurd. "Donuts! Donuts!" I think, as I pedal uphill.

Anyway ... the day won't stand still just because I miss my friend. But I think it's time to pay attention. Pay attention to your health, to the little things that seem off. Moms, we're awfully busy, and it's hard to make time for ourselves and give our bodies the attention they need. But we all want to stick around, for ourselves and for our families. An early death is inevitable for some of us, though, so pay attention to that breeze brushing your cheek, the freedom of your arms swinging as you walk.

Pay attention to your loved ones, your children, your friends. Especially your oldest friends, the ones we think will be around forever just because it seems like they've always been there. No one is a permanent part of your life.

Have you ever lost a good friend suddenly?

Click "Like" if you wear a pink ribbon. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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Lea Michele and Cory Monteith's Family Go Through the Painful Steps of Saying Goodbye

donderdag 18 juli 2013

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by Emily Abbate 12 hours ago

For what feels like the thousandth time since I heard the sad news late Saturday, again I will say rest in peace to Cory Monteith. After the Glee actor's unexpected death Saturday, Monteith's cause of death was confirmed by the British Columbia Coroners Service as "mixed drug toxicity, involving heroin and alcohol." Today, news comes out that Cory Monteith's body was cremated in Vancouver following a private viewing with his family and Lea Michele, his girlfriend.

One person not in attendance at the viewing? His estranged father Joe Monteith. Joe tells TMZ that he wasn't told about the cremation until after the fact. Apparently, Joe is "totally devastated" he didn't get to see his son a final time.

We don't know much about Cory's interactions with his father or the relationship between Cory's mother and father, post-divorce. What do we know? That handling an unexpected death is never easy, and Cory's is no exception.

Handling the loss of someone close to you is heartwrenching. When that loss comes at a time you least expect it, it's almost unbearable. It's clear with the pace of things that happened following Cory's unexpected passing that his family and Lea are really "in it," so to speak. They're going through the motions.

Plain and simple: During a difficult time like this, it's so hard to catch your brain and heart up to the unfathomable events at hand. Regardless of the fact that there's no way they're used to Cory being gone and probably won't be for some time, they were forced to face the process. I'm sure that the media circus surrounding Cory's death and the information about how he passed being so public doesn't make it easier for them. To Cory's family and so many of his fans, he will always be an amazing man, a talented man, and a man with a good heart.

My thoughts and prayers are with Cory's family and especially Lea Michele.

Are you still in shock over Cory's death?

Image via Pacific Coast News

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