Helping a Mom in Public: Dos and Dont's for Strangers

woensdag 21 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota

Sometimes parents of toddlers are totally overwhelmed and need help. And sometimes parents of toddlers just seem overwhelmed, but really we'd love it if you could just mind your own business. It can be hard for a well-meaning stranger to tell the difference. When should you step in to help, and why are parents of toddlers so pissy and defensive all the time, anyway?

Relax. I've got all the answers right here. This is a list of the ways parents of toddlers would love your help -- and when we don't want your help.

Please open the door for me when I'm struggling with the stroller. You're not obligated, but I do appreciate it.

Please don't tell me children don't belong here, wherever we are.

Please don't give me a lecture on disciplining children while my toddler is in the middle of a meltdown. I can't hear you.

Please just give me a sympathetic smile and move along when you see my toddler back-bending and caterwauling mid-tantrum in the middle of the cereal aisle in the grocery store.

Please don't offer him candy, either.

Please don't offer my kid any food of any kind, ever, come to think of it.

Please keep your dog the hell away from my toddler while he's strapped down, helpless, in his stroller.

Please tell me if something disgusting is leaking from my toddler's pants. I don't want to know, but I need to know.

Please tell me if you just saw my toddler put something in his mouth. Especially if that something is still alive.

Please hand me a tissue if you happen to notice my toddler's face is coated in mucus like a glazed donut.

Please don't tell me I'm "doing it wrong" -- whatever "it" is.

Please offer to help me juggle my bags if you see my struggling, but don't just start grabbing things because I have no idea if you're about to rob me.

Please body-block my toddler if you see him running directly into the street.

Please don't clutch your pearls and offer to call the paramedics if my toddler falls and scrapes his knee. He'll be fine, really.

Please don't tell me my toddler is too big to still be breastfeeding.

Please don't make that scary face at my toddler. We are not amused.

Please don't tell me it's too dangerous for my toddler to jump/slide/run. I know his limits, and so does he, for that matter.

Please tell me if my toddler has kicked off his shoe and thrown it out of his stroller. Bonus points to those of you who pick it up and hand it to me.

Please direct your sneezes and coughs and belches away from my toddler's face.

Please offer my toddler a seat on the bus. Actually, give me the seat because I'm more tired -- the kid can sit on my lap.

Please tell me this time passes quickly because, honestly, I only hear that 100 times a day and I need to hear it again.

Thank you.

What kind of help from strangers do you appreciate?

Image via Richard Stephenson/Flickr

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When Strangers 'Parent' Your Kids in Public: Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down?

dinsdag 20 augustus 2013

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AppId is over the quota

When do you step in to help another parent? The question can be tricky even when that parent is your best friend. But what if it's a perfect stranger? I'm faced with this question virtually every day as I navigate the streets of my Brooklyn neighborhood, which is packed to the rafters with children. I swear there are more children in my neighborhood than adults. Every single day I see hoards of children with their parents -- on their way to school, the subway, or one of the local playgrounds. That means I see a lot of different parenting dynamics. Yeah, I see parents yelling at their kids ... but this is Brooklyn. These kids are pretty coddled. The yelling is rare, and when it happens, it's deserved. Like the mom I just saw admonishing her kid who didn't look before he crossed the street on his bike. But then there are other times ... I wonder if I should step in. And help?

As a city person, I've helped loads of parents with their kids in the subway. I've held doors, offered my seat, and carried the backs of strollers up stairs. But there is something about offering your help in the middle of the street that strikes a different chord. Is it even wanted? Sometimes, it's necessary.

There was the time I saw a little kid, probably about 3, suddenly take off from what looked like his grandfather. The kid began hoofing it down the street like a monster was on his tail. The grandfather (or, this being Brooklyn, it could have been a very old father) tried to run after him, but his stamina sputtered out and he ground to a halt. He just stood there yelling for the kid, who kept running.

I saw that the kid, within a minute or so, was going to hit the end of the sidewalk. We are surrounded by very busy streets. He was in danger of being hit by a car.

So I took off. He had quite a headstart on me, but I took off like there was a jet propeller on my back. I finally caught up to him and blocked him with my body as he was about to dash across the street. But I also thought, "I'm confronting a strange child right now. Will the grandfather appreciate it? Will this be misinterpreted somehow?"

The grandfather caught up to us soon after and took the kid away. To be honest, I don't even remember a thank you.

Then there was the time I spotted a mom with two kids. One kid was about 5 years old, and there was a smaller child in a stroller. The older kid was having one hell of a meltdown. First, he screamed and kicked his mother, who remained admirably calm. Then he sat in the middle of the sidewalk.

And he refused ... to ... move.

Her threats did not work. Her cajoling did not work. He was too big and ornery to pick up, and besides that, she was also pushing a stroller.

She tried walking away, thinking that would scare him into coming after her. But it didn't.

I was walking by, but caught the entire scene, and kept thinking, "Do I offer to help?"

But what would I do exactly? Surely the kid wouldn't listen to me either. I thought maybe I could push the kid in the stroller while she wrangled the little demon.

Would she want a stranger pushing her stroller? (This is the city, remember, even if crime rates are at an all-time low.)

Would this be insinuating she couldn't handle her own children?

I finally went to the store and the whole time I thought, "If she is still there when I come back, I will offer to help."

But when I came out, she was gone. She'd obviously managed to get the kid to walk.

I still feel guilty I didn't help.

Frankly, I think we should all offer to help each other. We don't have to. But wouldn't it be nice?

Do you want strangers helping with your kids?

Image via MicahSittig/Flickr

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Kidnap Victim Hannah Anderson Goes Public for the First Time Since Her Ordeal (VIDEO)

vrijdag 16 augustus 2013

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by Sasha Brown-Worsham 3 hours ago

Kidnap victim Hannah Anderson has made her first public appearance since her horrific ordeal last week that left her mother and brother dead at the hands of long-time family friend James DiMaggio. She came out to a public fundraiser at the Lakeside Boll Weevil restaurant in San Diego where 20 percent of their sales were going to the Anderson family. She looked subdued and maybe even freaked out by all the media attention, which isn't surprising given how much people have been focused on her this week.

Anderson, 16, was kidnapped two weekends ago after DiMaggio, a man she called "Uncle Jimmy," killed her mother Christina and 8-year-old brother Ethan, then picked her up from cheerleading practice and drove into the woods where he hid out from the police for days. A pair of hikers spotted the "couple" and reported them, which ultimately saved Anderson's life. DiMaggio was killed during a gun fight with the police.

See below:

The family's ordeal has been unimaginable and, according to her father, they have many large expenses as a result. But Hannah's behavior in the days since her rescue have caused some to begin to question things about her. This is largely taking place in the Internet comments sections of news outlets, so isn't exactly reliable or even sane in many cases, but it's happening.

Hannah or a person posing as Hannah spent a lot of time soon after her rescue on a social media site called Ask.fm. She was answering questions and posting photos of the manicure she got in honor of her mom and Ethan and also of herself goofing around with friends.

Her family hasn't denied that it's her and family friends have confirmed that it was, leading many to assume that it's authentic. If it is, it's a bit ... odd. To be sure. But also, who are we to judge how a person behaves after something like this?

She may be so deeply in shock from all that has transpired and the new, sick details -- both her mother and brother were tortured by DiMaggio and her dog was shot -- that she may just be desperate for some sense of normalcy, which she is finding through social media, manicures, and time with her friends. She is 16, after all.

What happened to her was horrendous, hideous, beyond imagining. There is no road map for behavior when you survive something like this. It's just one foot in front of the other. We should be supporting her, not judging her.

Do you think people need to lay off Hannah in the comments sections?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sasha Brown-Worsham

can't decide whether she is a mother, writer, or runner, but is usually all three at some point each day. She has written for dozens of print magazines, newspapers, and websites. She rarely ever writes on bathroom walls.

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Royal Baby Makes His First Public Appearance (PHOTO)

dinsdag 23 juli 2013

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by Jeanne Sager 3 hours ago

It's happened! Kate Middleton and Prince William finally introduced His Royal Highness, the new prince, to the world! The royal baby was born on Monday, and he and the Duchess of Cambridge got one night in the Lindo Wing of St. Mary's Hospital to recover from the big birth before his first public appearance. But after the grandparents stopped by to visit -- Prince Charles and Camilla, of course, as well as Kate's parents -- it was time for the future king to make his big debut!

The Duchess, who reportedly had a hairdresser swing by before her release (can you blame her, she only has the world watching!), looks as radiant as we'd expect -- new motherhood agrees with her! And the royal baby is absolutely perfect ... of course!

More from The Stir: Kate Middleton & Royal Baby's First Portrait Is Just Plain Creepy (PHOTO)

According to the Duke, he's even got mom's lips ... and more hair than Dad!

Now it's off to Kensington Palace for the new family! Congratulations!!

Look at this sweet face:

What did you think of the way they introduced the prince to the world?

Images via NBC News; Getty Images/Peter Macdiarmid

Click "Like" for more on the Royal Family. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jeanne Sager

writes articles for The Stir by day, slays closet monsters and bounds through bedtime stories with her elementary schooler by night. The Phineas and Ferb soundtrack reverberates through her brain.

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City Wants People to Pay to Exercise in Public Parks -- Seriously?!

donderdag 18 juli 2013

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AppId is over the quota
by Emily Abbate 11 hours ago

When I go to the park and see people working out here in New York City, it makes me feel good. It makes me happy to know I live in a place where at least some of the population cares about their physical fitness. Which is why it is absolutely absurd to me that Denver is contemplating charging people to exercise in parks. Yes. As in, making them pay. As in, they're discusing whether or not workout groups, like yoga clubs, joggers, and boot camps, should have to pay extra fees to conduct classes in public parks.

I am ... dumbfounded. I get it. These "businesses" are using the park as a place to provide their services and "goods." Without a permit, they're sorta kinda "breaking the law." But GIVE ME A BREAK, DENVER. Are they really that desperate for money over there?

I just can't get over the idea that Denver is essentially contemplating whether or not they should penalize people for working out. Plain and simple: No one needs discouragement to get healthy. Instead, we should all applaud those exercising, getting out, and getting their rear into gear. At least, that's where I'm at.

Plus -- aren't there bigger issues at hand, here? What about crime over there? Or bullying? Or for Pete's sake, if the city is killing itself over money then go on and impose some sort of drive thru-tax or something. Cigarettes! Anything! Healthy people make your city a more attractive place to live. I'm sure as hell that people who are spending their time being active should be the least of your worries, Denver.

Force the workout buffs out of the park, and I'll be interested to see what happens next.

Do you think this is ridiculous?

Image via lululemon athletica/ Flickr

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