6 Ways One-Night Stands Can Lead You to True Love

zaterdag 17 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Maressa Brown 20 hours ago

Hey, it happened in Knocked Up!In her new memoir, On My Knees, 37-year-old Periel Aschenbrand shares how after being devastated by her ten-year-long relationship going south, she picked up men in bars, had a fling with her boss, had sex with a fireman, and basically went BUCKWILD. It sounds like she lived out almost every scenario Samantha Jones encountered over the five seasons and two films' worth of Sex & the City. And the moral of the story: All those one-night standsled her to ... the man of her dreams. No, really!

On paper, it sounds nuts. Completely counterintuitive. But when you realize that it's not about having sex with a bunch of randoms so much as the attitude and state of mind associated with one-night stands, it makes sense! Here, six ways hooking up can actually lead you to The One ...    

The one-night stand mentality can make you more openminded. When you're focused on just having fun in the present, you might let your guard down ... talk to more people ... be more laidback, relaxed, and open in a way that leads you to -- surprise! -- the right one!They can lower your expectations ... in a wonderful way. We often psych ourselves out by having lofty expectations in the dating world. By being in the one-night stand frame of mind, you stop worrying so much about whether or not someone is going to end up being the perfect partner, which in turn, takes a lot of pressure off of the situation! Aschenbrand admits, "I had no expectations when I met [my now-husband], so I just acted like myself." They can make you more confident. Putting yourself out there to find casual sex requires a certain level of confidence, of course. But being in control of your sexual destiny is also confidence-boosting in itself. And the one thing most people say they find the sexiest in another person is what? Confidence, of course!You can better learn you what you want -- and what you don't. Talking to, dating, or yes, getting frisky with different people can give you an even better idea of what you're looking for and what you're NOT, therefore making your match even easier to spot.They can make you even more ready for a long-term relationship. Wild oats, sown. They can make you even more grateful for your match. Sometimes we're not ready or willing to commit because we don't know how good something is that's right in front of us. Being in the one-night stand frame of mind for too long can get lonely and leave you feeling empty ... So when you make that special connection with someone, you really realize you'd be foolish to walk away.

How do you feel about the idea that being in a "one-night stand state of mind" can lead you to a seriously happy, long-term relationship?

Image via Universal

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Maressa Brown

has enjoyed reporting and writing for a variety of entertainment and women's magazines and websites. More often than not, you'll find her blogging, hitting the gym, reading, researching something on her iPhone, laughing, chatting at an above-"normal" volume, or getting her caffeine fix.

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Nina Dobrev Spills How She Really Feels About One-Night Stands

dinsdag 6 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Maressa Brown 1 hour ago

Nina Dobrev hasn't exactly had the easiest year so far, at least in matters of love. (We're still wondering just how she seemingly got over her breakup with Ian Somerhalder so quickly!) Still, she has plenty to be proud and happy about. Her star seems to be rising in a big way, and she's also confident about finding Mr. Right at some point -- especially considering that she's already figured out what qualities he's gotta have.

Nina told Cosmo, "You either have chemistry or you don't, but a lot of what attracts me is a guy's mind and humor and talent. I need to get to know all those things before I fall for someone. I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl. I'm a relationship girl." Aw, good for her! Although, let's be real: What woman would openly say she's a "one-night-stand kind of girl"? Haa ... I'd guess not many! But no, really, from Nina, I believe it. She really seems to have her head on straight when it comes to finding the right serious relationship.

All too often, people say they want a serious relationship but continue to carry a torch for (or keep hooking up with!) an old flame who's never going to commit. Or have a friend with benefits. Or keep falling for and prey to the same hot but empty or emotionally detached guy. These are all totally easy traps to fall into! But hooking up with or being hung up on losers only serves to set yourself even further back from finding a winner.  

So, good for Nina to know what she wants -- and realize that's not going to happen in the form of a hookup. What's more, it sounds like she knows HERSELF, which is undoubtedly key to forging a lasting bond.

She underlined her interest in maintaining her independence, noting:

People aren't defined by their relationships. The whole point is being true to yourself and not losing yourself in relationships, whether romances or friendships.

Cheers to that, Nina. Sounds like she's well on her way to finding that happy, healthy relationship she deserves!

What do you think about Nina declaring herself a "relationship girl"? Do you think hookups get in the way of finding the right person?

Image via Cosmo

Click the "Like" button below if you love vampires! ABOUT THE AUTHOR Maressa Brown

has enjoyed reporting and writing for a variety of entertainment and women's magazines and websites. More often than not, you'll find her blogging, hitting the gym, reading, researching something on her iPhone, laughing, chatting at an above-"normal" volume, or getting her caffeine fix.

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reacties | | Read More...