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dinsdag 17 september 2013
AppId is over the quota
by Mary Fischer 16 hours ago
When I first heard that dads David Tutera and Ryan Jurica are raising their twin babies separately after their divorce, I couldn't help but get a bit of a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Celebrity event planner David and his ex Ryan welcomed the twins via a surrogate -- but they decided to end their relationship very soon after the embryo transfer was complete. David admits that they never even talked about keeping the babies together. Instead, David has custody of his biological daughter, Cielo, and is raising her in California, while Ryan is bringing up her brother who is his biological child, Cedric, all the way across the country in Connecticut.
And even though David says he and his ex want to make sure their babies have a relationship -- it's hard to understand why on earth they would choose to separate a brother and sister who deserve to grow up together, especially considering they shared a womb for nine months. How could they bring themselves to pull them apart like that?
I know they live on opposite coasts and all, but couldn't they have worked out some sort of custody arrangement where they each had the babies for six months out of the year or something like that? Sure, it would be tough for them to go back and forth between parents -- but isn't it worse that they will never really know each other, or at least they won't have the opportunity of experiencing a real sibling relationship?
This is basically like a real life version of The Parent Trap, and if you ask me, these men are being incredibly selfish and immature. When you become a parent, you have to realize that your priorities change overnight -- and it's not all about you anymore. The happiness and well being of your children HAVE to come first, even if the resulting situation is less than ideal for you.
This arrangement would be horrible enough if these children were a regular brother and sister, but the fact that they're twins makes it even harder to accept. Twins share such a deep, special bond. David and Ryan are nuts if they think the babies won't sense that there is something missing in their lives as they get older. And their little plan could really wind up hurting them more than their divorce ever did, because there is a very good chance the twins will resent them when they grow up. I mean, their own fathers deliberately tore them apart and took away their opportunity to share their lives, which could be a pretty hard thing to forgive down the line.
Hopefully once the dust settles a bit more on their split, they'll come to their senses and work out a way to ensure that these children truly get to know each other as brother and sister -- because that's the only way it should be. And if they don't? Then they should probably prepare themselves for the therapy bills they're going to have to pay for when their kids start having issues later in life.
Are you outraged over what these dads have done?
Image via Cyron/Flickr
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Fischer is the writer behind The Mommyologist, and the mom of a future famous comedian. Her current loves include Pinot Grigio on ice and Harry Styles -- in that order.
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