Men Finally Allowed to Give Cooking Advice on Turkey Hot Line in 2013

dinsdag 17 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 14 hours ago

Is it too early to talk about Thanksgiving? Yes. Yes it is. I'd like to apologize for leapfrogging Halloween here in the middle of September but I have breaking turkey news: For the first time ever, turkey-producer Butterball is manning their Turkey Talk Line with actual men. So when you call up the hotline for advice on roasting your holiday bird, you just might get that advice from a man. Oh my God, is this 2013? Did we just travel back in time? Is this really happening?

A little history. When Butterball first opened its talk line in days of yore (1981), it started with just six women selected for their expertise in turkey cookery. Over time the crew grew by word-of-mouth recommendations, the company says. They didn't hire only women on purpose, it just kind of happened that way. But now, with so many men finally donning aprons and daring to roast turkeys (for the 32nd year in a row), the company has decided to actively seek men who could give the male callers more manly advice.

Mantastic! I guess. I suppose I'm glad they're getting with the times and putting guys on the line. But I can't believe this just occurred to them. Don't we all know men who cook? No, it's more than that. Don't we all know men who cook and consider themselves experts and just LOVE telling other people how to cook? I know quite a few men like that. I'm not complaining -- not while I'm eating their food, anyway. But come on, men love dispensing wisdom on whatever they think they're experts on. Why has the Turkey Talk Line been depriving them all this time?

Hell, they probably don't even need to find actual cooking expert men. I know men who will spout out advice on any such whatnot even when they don't know what the hell they're talking about. They literally cannot help themselves. You just say, "I'm having trouble ..." or "I'm having emotions about something ..." and they're all, "Let me tell you how to fix that!" Wasn't the phrase "talk turkey" pretty much invented for men?

Oh, I know. I'm being unfair. Really, I find this trait endearing most of the time. Perhaps what's really changed isn't that more men are cooking; maybe what's new is that men are more open to taking advice from other people. Maybe that's the real sea change. More men are stopping and asking for directions -- on the road and in the kitchen. Well hooray for that! We all win, then.

Would any of the men in your life call a turkey help line for advice?

Image via Dru Bloomfield/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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Robert Pattinson’s Post-Breakup Rule Is Great Advice for Everyone

woensdag 11 september 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 1 hour ago

Are you still obsessed with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's breakup? Well, I have some new scoop for you! According to a friend of Kristen's, Robert cut off all communication with Kristen after their split so they could both move on and why is this even news? It would be news if we found out Rob was calling up Kristen every day to make sure she was all right after dumping her. Or if he were calling her and then just weeping softly, unable to say a word. Or if he stood outside her house holding a boombox playing "In Your Eyes" because then we'd all want to find out where he'd gotten a working 1990s vintage boombox. But I digress. Isn't cutting yourself off from your ex standard operating procedure for everyone?

Here's the quote from Kristen's friend.

It was Rob’s decision that the two of them not communicate for a while. Rob felt like it was just too difficult for the two of them to move on if they kept in contact. They both want to be able to talk one day, but it’s still too soon and there are too many raw emotions from both sides involved.

Rob was in no way nasty about it. He actually thought he was helping Kristen by setting this boundary of no communication — that it would actually speed up the recovery process.

Rob was SUPER NICE about cutting Kristen off, I'm sure. No, but seriously, he's right of course. That usually is the kindest, most humane way to handle a breakup. Tough Love! Cold Turkey! Other Cliche! Keeping in contact just drags out the drama, when what you both need most is to just retreat to your own corners, lick your wounds, and look forward to whatever comes next.

You know what? Maybe Robert Pattinson should write a breakup advice book. I'm thinking something like How to Break Up With Your Movie Star Girlfriend After She Cheats On You With Her Director. Or A Hot Man's Guide to Breaking Up With the Girl Who Treated Your Heart Like Monkey Meat. Or 7 Habits of Highly-Effective Breaker-Uppers.

Robert Pattinson: Relationship guru. Can we please get this guy a show on OWN? I would get cable TV for that. Oh yeah, I was going to add another bit about how Rob still loves Kristen, you know, in a platonic way, wishes her well and all that crap. Does it even matter? They both just needed to moveondotorg, and they did. Good for them.

Do you think you should keep talking with your ex after you break up?

Click the "Like" button below if you're a fan of Kristen Stewart. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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