Jennifer Lopez Returns to ‘American Idol’ But Her New Handsome Sidekick Is No Simon Cowell

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Jill Baughman 1 hour ago

Does anyone still watch American Idol? Bueller? Bueller ...? I think a lot of people tuned out when Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj were judges -- not even a fake feud could save that season. But now news is out about the brand spankin' new judges' panel. For those of you who still care, and apparently I do too, as I'm writing about it, the new ones will be: Jennifer Lopez, Harry Connick Jr., and Keith Urban, the sole returning judge from last season.

Hooray?

Idol veteran Randy Jackson will be back as an in-house mentor. We'll see how that goes. Ryan Seacrest will be back as host, so all of you worried about his departure can rest easy tonight.

But seriously, kids, is the show really the same ever since Simon Cowell left?

Embroiled in some baby daddy drama nowadays, Simon hasn't been a part of Idol since what's seemed like forever. The best part of the show was listening to all these hopeful contestants sing and then hearing what he had to say. I mean, the things that would come out of his mouth! And in that accent! "Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."

While watching the first few seasons, it was fun formulating opinions in your head, listening to the BS the first two or three judges said, and then seeing if your opinion matched up with Simon's. And with Jennifer, Harry, and Keith ... whose responsibility is it to come up with those biting one-liners now?

Can you imagine any of them saying something like this, "You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with the massive eyes. What do they call those? Bush babies." And getting away with it? I don't think so. I really don't think so.

Especially since Harry issued this statement: "I have always been a huge fan of American Idol and really enjoyed my time as a mentor on the show. And I am honored that they’ve asked me to be a judge this season. As an entertainer, I am truly excited to bring my perspective to American Idol, and to help emerging performers find their way."

Oy. Nothing Simon-esque about that one. Don't get me wrong, Harry's a super-likable and talented guy. And of course he's going to be polite and politically correct in a statement, but still, the question remains ... can these judges save the show?

And will anyone actually tune in to find out?

For nostalgia sake for the good old days, check out this video of Simon's best:

Will you tune in to American Idol now that the three judges have been decided upon?

Image via Abby Brack/Wikimedia Commons

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jill Baughman

is the copy chief of The Stir and geeks out over all the nuances and weirdness of the English language.

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