5 Things I Don't Understand About My Son's Messy Bedroom

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota

When I was a kid, my mom used to have to constantly nag me to clean my room. I was an epically lazy packrat and had a tendency to simply shove random objects under my bed instead of actually putting anything away. I suppose it's only fitting that I am now the parent of the most clutter-prone child on the planet, and I battle with him daily about his "complete pigsty" (oh look, my own mother's words coming right out of my mouth!) of a bedroom.

Kids are messy, that's just a fact on par with "kids aren't particularly tall" and "kids are generally louder than a Boeing 747." But whenever I step foot into my 7-year-old son's room, I'm amazed at just HOW messy he is. Every few days I make him neaten his room and it takes him forever because of the natural state it reverts to the instant he's done cleaning -- which inevitably includes these five signature bedroom "styles" that are never going to stop driving me crazy.

For instance:

1) Toys piled on top of the toy box.

That right there is a perfectly useful toy box, large enough to neatly store away most of the items that are typically strewn all over the floor of my son's room. But it's never actually filled with toys, because he puts them on TOP. You know, so the LID can't be opened.

2) Clothes dumped next to the laundry container.

Do laundry hampers have some sort of penis-detection feature that launches an invisible force field that prevents clothes from making it inside the container? Because my husband and my younger son do this too. I am literally the only person in my household who has the magical ability to put a soiled item of clothing somewhere other than the floor or half-draped on the side of the basket.

3) Books overflowing from drawers rather than shelves.

Above this jam-packed drawer are a number of shelves that seem to have been installed for the express purpose of displaying books. My son, however, has filled these shelves with rocks, LEGOs, and other assorted flotsam.

4) Weird things hanging from the bulletin board.

We put up bulletin boards so he could proudly display his favorite artwork. Instead, he put up ... well, what IS this? A play safety vest and a flyswatter, I guess. Because you never know when you might have to direct traffic while also killing a mosquito?

5) A bedside table that is like a HOLY SHRINE of garbage.

I tried to straighten this up for him once, and he LOST HIS DAMN MIND. "Mom, everything is there for a REASON!" You mean the broken antelope horn, the pile of LEGO pieces, the plastic shampoo container with a tiny plastic something-or-other in it, the toy gun that's missing the part that makes it shoot, the Valentine's Day card holder you made in school like seven months ago, the busted wallet, and the cup that's apparently been knocked against the wall at some point judging from the stain? "YES!!!" Oooooooookay then.

Does your kid's room have never-ending, totally unexplainable disaster zones like this?

Images via Linda Sharps