Woman Goes to Desperate Lengths to Have Good-Looking Children

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Adriana Velez 2 hours ago

All this woman wanted was some beautiful babies. In a scandalous, anonymously-written post, a married mother admits she conceived four babies by different men -- all behind her husband's back. And it wasn't because of the phenomenal sex, so she says. It was for the sake of the children! She just wanted to make sure they had all the advantages life has to offer, including the advantage of being extraordinarily good looking. She wanted "handsome" babies, is all.

Does this story sound totally made-up to you? It should. But you probably want to hear all the details anyway. I know I did.

"Josephine" says became aware of how differently beautiful children (like she was) are treated than homely children from an early age. "And so it was that I silently vowed I would have only handsome and beautiful children at whatever cost." Alas, Josephine failed to marry a handsome man. She married a really great guy who just happened to be too toad-like to sire the beautiful children she desired. So she she did a little outsourcing.

Her adventures in selective breeding began early. Three months after their honeymoon, she hooked up with the intern 10 years her junior. She just happened to bump into the same guy, conveniently two and a half years later, and conceived another baby. Then she had a fruitful fling with the supermarket attendant, followed by a very productive tryst with her trainer at the gym (I mean, you were waiting for that one, right?). And conveniently enough, all the kids look just like her and her husband never suspects a thing. He joyfully raises all these stunning specimens of childhood as if they were his own, which as far as he knows, they are.

So wow, Josephine managed to carry out her plan without a hitch. Well, aside from the massive guilt that squashes her heart like a giant elephant foot.

This story is so ridiculous, it is all I can do to keep writing here. But just for the sake of argument, let's pretend it's true. Is it really so terrible? Look, no one's gotten hurt ... yet. Josephine got her gorgeous gaggle of kids and her husband probably feels like he won the kid lottery. It's like getting away with the perfect murder, only instead of killing someone, she's created life, really attractive life.

Ugh. No. You know what? I can't. I cannot play devil's advocate here. This was a deeply wrong thing to do, and I hope this story truly is fictional. But you just know someone, somewhere out there, is hatching the exact same plan right now.

How often do you think women deliberately conceive a baby by another father?

Image via Lori Ann/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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