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Posts tonen met het label Stupid. Alle posts tonen

Mom Takes On Stupid Pregnancy 'Rules' and Tells It Like It Really Is

Penulis : Unknown on woensdag 14 augustus 2013 | 04:06

woensdag 14 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Jacqueline Burt 2 hours ago

coffee wine What's safe during pregnancy? What's not? It's a debate that will continue to rage on, I suspect, for as long as babies are born, but the answers change -- often. Or maybe I should say opinions? And those opinions do tend to stir up some serious controversy, as is the case with those contained in the new book Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong -- and What You Really Need to Know by Emily Oster. As you might have guessed from the name, Oster's take on what's okay/not okay during pregnancy is slightly different from what's currently considered conventional wisdom: Caffeine and alcohol -- in moderation, of course -- aren't necessarily mortal sins for mothers-to-be. Now, Oster isn't a doctor, but she is an economist. And when -- while pregnant with her first child -- she applied her expertise with numbers to relevant studies, what she found was, in her words, "surprising."

In search of real answers, I combed through hundreds of studies -- the ones that the recommendations were based on -- to get to the good data. This is where another part of my training as an economist came in: I knew enough to read the numbers correctly ... the key problem lies in separating correlation from causation. The claim that you should stop having coffee while pregnant, for instance, is based on causal reasoning: If you change nothing else, you'll be less likely to have a miscarriage if you drink less coffee. But what we see in the data is only a correlation -- the women who drink coffee are more likely to miscarry. There are also many other differences between women who drink coffee and those who don't, differences that could themselves be responsible for the differences in miscarriage rates.

This makes a lot of sense to me. My first pregnancy was something of a surprise, so I was already eight weeks along when I saw those double lines on the test stick. And let me tell ya: Insta-panic!! Those first ignorant eight weeks were filled with all sorts of activity not generally considered to be appropriate during pregnancy. Naturally I quit smoking, drinking, and guzzling Starbucks right away, but I still worried ... thankfully, my daughter was born perfectly healthy (and too smart for her own good).

Still, not surprisingly, lots of people are absolutely going insane over Oster's ideas, accusing the mom and author of being "irresponsible" and even a "danger to pregnant women and their families." Is that fair? When my grandmother was pregnant with my father, her ob/gyn encouraged her to smoke cigarettes to keep her weight down -- he even prescribed Dexedrine! My mom, on the other hand, was told by her ob/gyn to eat "as much as she wanted," weight gain be damned! Maybe it's safe to say none of us has all the answers? For me, it all goes back to the common sense thing: A glass of wine is probably fine, a bottle is probably less fine. But that's just me.

Do you think drinking coffee and/or alcohol during pregnancy in moderation is okay?

Image via star5112/Flickr

Jacqueline Burt ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jacqueline Burt

has written for numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites. She is easily bored and often tired, so she requires constant entertainment to keep her awake. Dance, Monkey! Dance! 

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Babymoons: Stupid Name, Totally Essential

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Nicole Fabian-Weber 2 hours ago

pregnantWhen I was pregnant, I thought it was kind of dumb. A babymoon. What the hell is that, anyway? And the name is stupid: Babymoon. Thanks, but no thanks. It sounds like just another newly-invented, self-indulgent marketing ploy. Kind of like push-present. People have been giving birth since the beginning of time, and it wasn't until recently -- until parents became the biggest consumers out there -- that we started feeling pressure to partake in these things.

"No, we're not going on a babymoon," I'd tell people who would ask.

"Really? You should. It'll be your last chance to be together for a while."

"We're good," I'd say.

The months leading up to the birth of my sweet daughter were business as usual for my husband and me. We worked. We made dinner. We watched movies at home.

And now, 16 months into parenthood, I really regret not taking one. I regret not going on a babymoon.

Travel is one of those things that seems to be quintessentially for the childless. Sure, there are the parents who take their incredibly easygoing kids anywhere -- and even I've taken my daughter on a few trips. But it's not the same. It's not a vacation where you leave feeling relaxed and rejuvenated. It's not a vacation where you leave feeling like you reconnected with your partner. Sure, you may get to do a few things for yourself. But they have to be done in shifts. You get a pedicure while your husband watches the kids. He goes golfing after you take over. Yes, it's great family fun, and come on, it's vacation, so what's not to like. But it's not vacation as we knew it.

I haven't left my daughter overnight yet. My husband and I were planning on going somewhere this summer for a night or two. Just the two of us. But after looking at the cost of last-minute travel, coupled with the cost of bills and childcare and food, etc., it's really not the smartest move right now. It's the adult thing to do, but it, immaturely, makes me a little sad. I had finally summoned up the courage to leave my gorgeous baby, and, well, now it isn't happening. I was looking forward to arriving at a hotel with my husband. To having a glass of wine on a super child-unfriendly balcony. To whiling away a few hours on a beach without thinking about sunburns and wet diapers and naptime. I was really looking forward to a night where it was solely about us.

If it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm not. Okay, maybe I am a little. But I admit: I miss vacations. And I'm sorry we didn't get in one last hurrah before our family became three. It would have been a nice memory for my husband and me to have.

While I was pregnant, I had many delusions of grandeur about the kind of mother I would be. "My kid isn't going to rule my life," I'd say. "We're still going to go out and be us. We'll just have a baby." Yeah. Okay. The first year of parenthood is an adjustment period. A disorienting adjustment period. And now that I feel like my husband and I have this parenting thing down -- and we're pretty okay at it -- we're ready to get back to us. Not exactly as we were, necessarily. But as we are now. As parents. And, well, I can't think of a better place to do that than on a white sandy beach.

Pregnant women, if you're debating whether or not to take a trip -- a babymoon -- do it. Book the trip. It doesn't have to be a two-week-long Mediterranean getaway; a weekend a few hours away will suffice. And when you're there, take lots of photos. Your sweet children will love to see what you looked like before they came around. And you will, too.

Did you take a babymoon?

Image via pixydust8605/Flickr


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