Farrah Abraham Makes a Claim So Outrageous We Can Barely Laugh

maandag 23 september 2013

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I think Farrah Abraham might have an evil twin. That's the only logical explanation behind her very existence. Think about it, doesn't it kind of make sense? One day she's classy, the next she's trashy? One day she's filming a sex tape (#backdoormom4lyfe), and the next she's claiming she doesn't care about fame.

Ha, ha, ha, that's right. My best friend Farrah (stay tuned for our web series coming never to a computer nowhere near you) recently spoke about her relationship with the media. Did you know Farrah doesn't want to be famous? Stupid evil twin, making Farrah an integral part of the D-List.

Keep in mind before you read her sage words, the woman has a new TV show in the works. So it's not like she's this century's Emily Dickinson, interviewed from her home, the crawlspace beneath her stairs.

I've never really been about fame or attention from the television and the people who see me on it. Now in our lives we are very choosy about reality television and what we do. I think if there's no real educational impact or showing advocacy for something, then, you know, I don't really think it's a good thing to be a part of.

I hate it when people use the word 'literally' as a means of emphasis, but I'm going to make an exception. That quote LITERALLY makes no sense. Not one whit. If Farrah really believes what she's saying, here are five other things she's likely to believe are true.

1. Unicorns

They exist, they have powers, and every day that passes is another chance for Farrah to meet one and befriend it.

2. Thunder Is Just Angels Bowling

Every time there is a thunderstorm, Farrah can be heard to yell out, "STRIKE!" Little does she knows, the angels are actually really into Settlers of Catan right now.

3. Invisibility

When Farrah doesn't want to deal with a problem, she believes that she "turns invisible." What actually happens is that she stops blinking and begins holding her breath while we all avoid her for fear she has gone quietly mad.

4. Cleaning Elves

Farrah doesn't own a mop, because she believes her home is cleaned by an army of well-meaning elves. You should see her bathroom.

5. Her Hair Has Powers

Farrah believes that her long hair gives her powers including super-strength. Thankfully she does not believe her hair has given her the ability to fly.

Do you think Farrah really isn't interested in fame?

Image via Instagram

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Kim Kardashian Has the Last Laugh in First Appearances After Baby (VIDEO)

woensdag 7 augustus 2013

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Kim Kardashian Has the Last Laugh in First Appearances After Baby (VIDEO) | The Stir window.Krux||((Krux=function(){Krux.q.push(arguments);}).q=[]);(function(){function retrieve(n){var m, k='kx'+n;if (window.localStorage) {return window.localStorage[k] || "";} else if (navigator.cookieEnabled) {m = document.cookie.match(k+'=([^;]*)');return (m && unescape(m[1])) || "";} else {return '';}}var kvs = [];Krux.user = retrieve('user');Krux.segments = retrieve('segs') && retrieve('segs').split(',') || [];if (Krux.user) {kvs.push('u=' + Krux.user);}for (var i = 0; i var _comscore = _comscore || [];_comscore.push({ c1: "2", c2: "6035453" });(function() {var s = document.createElement("script"), el = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; s.async = true;s.src = (document.location.protocol == "https:" ? "https://sb" : "http://b") + ".scorecardresearch.com/beacon.js";el.parentNode.insertBefore(s, el);})();CafemomGroups & ConversationsAdviceVideosThe StirLog In Join Now if (typeof rp_valuation == "undefined") rp_valuation = { 'estimate' : { 'tier' : 0, 'cpm' : 0 } }; url = addDFPAttributes(url,rp_valuation.estimate,{tier:"rp_tier", cpm:"rp_cpm"}); showAd(url); tt.endTime().send(); The StirPregnancyBabyToddlerBig KidTeenFood & PartyHealthy LivingLove & SexIn The NewsEntertainmentSportsTechnologyBeauty & StyleHome & GardenWritersBUZZING:Moms MatterSummer FunBack to School FashionBack to School Guide for MomsMore Mom Has Epic Reaction to Kids’ Pregnancy News Smokers Make Less Money Than Non-Smokers Public School Vs. Private School? Magazine Cover Story Shows Moms What They Are Missing 16 Annoying Things People Say When You Get Married EntertainmentThis Just In Kim Kardashian Has the Last Laugh in First Appearances After Baby (VIDEO)by Adriana Velez3 hours ago 1

Like the Loch Ness Monster emerging from the abyss, Kim Kardashian's first post-baby appearance has been highly anticipated. Some doubted it would ever happen. Many speculated that she was just a myth. Until now! This week Kim took not one, but two thrilling steps into the public eye. Witness! Kim Kardashian speaking to her mother via video. And! Kim Kardashian having a candid moment in a Keek video. We have seen them both, and they are ... well, they are videos of Kim Kardashian, I'll put it that way.

The first one is actually really sweet. Kim appeared via satellite on Kris Jenner's talk show Kris to congratulate her mother. "Hey mom, I just wanted to say congratulations on your new show. I’m sorry I couldn't be there in person, but I'm just loving life a little bit too much at home right now," she said.

Kim looks great, don't you think? Relaxed and well-rested after her first seven weeks as a mom, though that could just be the makeup. (Haha, kidding, of course she looks great.) But what does she mean she's having "way too much fun" where she is? That's not how I would describe the first few weeks of motherhood, exactly. I mean, novelist Zadie Smith put it this way:

Occasionally raising a child, too, is a pleasure, though mostly she is a joy, which means in fact she gives us not much pleasure at all, but rather that strange admixture of terror, pain, and delight that I have come to recognize as joy.

Oh shit, did I just quote a novelist in a Kardashians post? Haha! What am I thinking?!? Back to Kim. Did anyone else wonder to themselves why is she communicating with her mother via satellite when she lives with the woman? If you ask yourself that question, you probably haven't spent much time living with your mother and your newborn baby. (Just kidding, Mom! I love you!)

Okay, on to the second video, which lasts mere fleeting seconds. Here Kim shares something with us I don't know that she's ever shared before. Are you ready? Okay ...

Aug 6, 2013| Source: Keek.com

Her tongue -- get it?!? Kim shared her ... oh never mind. Oh Kim, you imp, you scalawag. This must be her insouciant way of saying "you do not get to see my post-baby body until I'm good and ready for it." Good for her. And that's it, folks. Expect more such appearances from Kim in the next few weeks. I'm guessing we may catch a glimpse of her newly svelte wrists next.

What did you think of Kim's two videos?

 

Image via Fox5

Add Comment1Filed Under:celeb moms,kardashiansLike What You Just Read?Click the "Like" button below if you're Krazy for the Kardashians! ABOUT THE AUTHORAdriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.  

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