Sex Confession: Wife Fears Having Sex and Husband Isn't Helping

maandag 26 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Michele Zipp 10 hours ago

"Sex Confessions" is a series featuring your naughtiest bedroom secrets and fantasies. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted. You might want to sit down for this.

There are lots of things we fear. Things we should be afraid of and things we shouldn't -- we know the difference. But Tara*, a 30-something married mom of four kids under 6 has a huge fear that really affecting her marriage, specifically her sex life. She has four kids under 6 -- a 1-year-old, 3-year-old twins, and a 5-year-old. I think you can guess what she's afraid of ... having sex and getting pregnant again. I'm kind of amazed her and her husband even have the time to try to have sex, but they do. Yet whenever those times come around, Tara has been saying no and her husband isn't happy. I'll let her explain.

Jake* and I have been married for 8 years and we have four kids. We got right down to making babies soon after our wedding and all has been wonderful and lovely and happiness and roses but I'm done. Womb is closed. But Jake isn't ready to make anything permanent because he thinks we may change our minds and want to have another baby in the next few years. I'm done! I told him. DONE. But who knows, I may change my mind in a few years and want another baby though I really, truly highly doubt that. I love our family the way it is. I have a hard enough time balancing everything as it is now, but it gets done, we all get it done together, and all is great.

Because I know Jake still wants to have more kids and because I know I'm not into that I'm afraid to have sex with him. What if I get pregnant? I'm not on any kind of birth control because it makes me nutty. Even still, I was on birth control when I got pregnant with babies 2 and 3. Jake doesn't put on a condom when we have sex so the fear of possibly getting pregnant overrides my desire to have sex. Jake doesn't get it. He thinks if we do get pregnant we should just be happy about it and see it as a blessing. Which I would, but I'm not ready to have another baby -- I don't want 5 kids under 7. So because I really don't trust the situation I choose to say no to sex.

He doesn't get it. He gets upset with me. I don't want him to be upset with me. But I'm scared. It seems like all he has to do is breathe in my direction and I get pregnant so I'm thinking we should cool it for a little bit. Or figure something else out -- a birth control that is better or a more drastic measure of me getting my tubes tied. The problem is Jake isn't into that because of wanting more kids. 

I just don't know what to do. I want to stay connected, sexually, and I want to keep communication going well between us. But we aren't seeing eye to eye here.

What do you think Tara should do? Have you ever felt like she does?

Image via Nicolas Raymond/Flickr

Click "Like" if you love your husband! ABOUT THE AUTHOR Michele Zipp

loves vintage and will defend skinny jeans to the death though she is highly superstitious and "death" is probably a bad word choice. She has a touch of the hoarding disease and enjoys sleuthing, the worst reality shows, and wearing high heels, even at the playground. She's an AP mom of twins, slightly crunchy but with a pedicure.

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Kim Zolciak Is as Shocked She's Having Twins as We Are

maandag 19 augustus 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Julie Ryan Evans 33 minutes ago

Hold onto your wigs, Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak announced some big news today. While we knew she was expecting her fifth child, she revealed today that she's also expecting her sixth. That's right, it's twins for Kim and her husband, Kroy Bierman.

Holy cow. We already thought she was kind of crazy to get pregnant with three children so close together -- she announced this pregnancy just nine months after her last child was born. But to add a surprise one to that, and have four children under the age of three at one time ... wow. Just wow. Even Kim seems startled.

She told E! News:

I'm having twins and I couldn't be more excited. I was completely shocked. I had no idea. It was a natural conception, but twins do run in the family, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

I don't care if twins do run in her family, I think anyone would be surprised by this news. It just goes to show once again that no matter how hard you try to control the size of your family, sometimes mother nature has other plans. Kim seems nothing less than thrilled with her rapidly expanding family though.

I can't believe I am going to be a mom to six children. It's going to be very busy but it's a dream come true.

Good for her. Despite all of the drama that played out on the show, it's clear that Kim's a devoted mom who loves her children, and Kroy seems to be an incredible dad. They have the means to get nannies and help as needed (Sweetie!), and it sounds like it will be a lively household. So good for them. Now the big question -- what will the sex of these babies be?

They already have two girls -- Brielle, 17, and Ariana, 12 (who Kroy recently adopted) -- and two boys -- Kroy Jr. 2, and Kash, 1. So will it be two of one sex to topple the teams, or one of each to keep things even? Only time (and possibly an ultrasound) will tell.

As for how many more children she plans to have, Kim said "this is it." Maybe, but as we've learned time and again when it comes to Kim, never say never.

Are you shocked that Kim is pregnant with twins? How do you think she'll handle that many small children?

Image via kimzolciakbiermann/Instagram

Click the "Like" button below if you're a fan of Real Housewives. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Julie Ryan Evans

can be found writing from coffee houses wherever she may be. The quality of her days is largely influenced by the seat she nabs and whether a protein plate is available.

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5 Ways to Stay Cool When You're Having 'Hot Sex'

maandag 29 juli 2013

AppId is over the quota
AppId is over the quota
by Kristen Chase 12 hours ago

Holy heatwave, batman! I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter where you live, because this summer has been crazy hot all over -- which means I'm sweating even while I'm standing still. So the thought of having sex now? Ugh.

But hey, that's why they make air conditioners, right? Actually, that's not the only way you can stay cool during those hot summer sex romps. Get ready to get it on without melting into a puddle while you're at it.

1. Have sex in the shower: Now I know people usually take cold showers to turn themselves off, but when you're with someone else, they can certainly have an adverse effect. And really, all that hot action will ensure that the only thing the water is doing is keeping your body cool.

2. Marble countertops, anyone? If you've ever sat with your bare butt on marble (or tile, for that matter), then you know it's pretty freaking cold. So why not prop yourself up on one and go at it? Yes, wipe it off before and after, and make sure the kids are asleep or out with the grandparents or a sitter. Then go for it!

3. Go downstairs: Pretty simple science here: heat rises. So you might need to change the location of your love-making to lower levels. Downstairs, basement, underground hut? Ha! But seriously, the higher up in your house you are, the hotter it's going to be.

4. Play with ice: Using a little ice in your sex play isn't just a way to make things hotter. It can actually help cool you down when the temps are out of control. Plus, it's just water so it's safe to put anywhere. Yes, you know what I'm talking about.

5. Choose your playtime wisely: It might be time to hop on the morning sex train when the temps are still low or wait until late at night when the sun is down. The last thing you want is to be doing the deed with the hot sun shining in through your windows.

What are your tips for keeping cool while still having fun summer sex?

Image via StevenDepolo/Flickr

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kristen Chase

is a writer, sex book author, and mom of four. She has absolutely no hobbies, unless you count obsessing over Ryan Reynolds, cleaning Sharpie off the walls, and Twitter. 

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